Muse
by WhiteRabbit52
Summary: Sasuke is a writer with terrible case of writer's block. He turns to drugs to lighten up his dull world but when he meets a certain pink-haired intern, he has just the shock of inspiration he needs. M for language and lemons. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**(A/N):Ohkay. So this is just something I came up when I had writer's block, ironically. I've realised I'm quite the fan of psycho/druggie Sasuke. Hope you enjoy. Please review and stuff. No flames plllleeeaasssee. **

Sasuke had always been pale and dark. He had always been beautiful in the way a broken bird was beautiful. He was the shattered glass that pretended to be diamonds.

He walked down the street with a cigarette between his lips. The smoke blossomed in his face with every puff then floated thickly into the night. His hood was pulled over his head and he walked with his hands in his pockets.

He approached a shadowed man leaning against the wall of the alleyway. When he came face to face with the dark character he lifted his arm and rubbed his two fingers together.

The dark character nodded and shoved himself off the wall.

"How much?" Sasuke asked.

"How much do you want?" Asked the drug dealer.

"How much do you have?"

The drug dealer sighed, "Fuck all this ambigious bullshit. I have coke. I have a fuck load of coke. How much are you willing to give me and I'll decide how much I'm willing to give you,"

Sasuke fidgeted a little. He had always be the least trusting of drug dealers and he wasn't particularly trusting to begin with but he needed this. He needed this badly.

He pulled out his wallet and tossed it at the dealer who caught it effortlessly. He opened it up and whistled.

"Jesus. I'll give you my whole stash for this," He choked on greed.

"How much do you have?" Sasuke asked again.

The drug dealer snorted, "Enough to kill yourself."

Sasuke gave a small, half smile that the drug dealer didn't notice. He handed Sasuke a tin and he held it in the palms of his hands before he pocketed it.

He nodded in thanks and walked away but not before the drug dealer called out to him,

"Take care of yourself."

Sasuke stared at him for a while, wondering why he cared then realised that it was because he now held his entire life fortune in his grubby, tobacco stained hands. Sasuke gave a curt, brutish nod and walked off.

As he walked down the street, he played with the tin in his hands. He promised himself he would count to one hundred before he had his first hit but he only got up to fifty.

He didn't even bother to line it up neatly. It just put a small amount in his hands and sniffed it in. Immediately, his nose began to burn and his felt his eyeballs begin to itch. The high was amazing and he breathed a sigh of relief as he gazed at his illuminated world through bloodshot eyes.

He took another hit

Then another…

And another…

Until, suddenly, he couldn't feel his mouth anymore. He wanted to claw his face off. He wanted to run and he wasn't sure if he physically did or if his mind was just racing, up and down the boundaries of his skull, scraping and chewing and biting its way on to his skin till it boiled.

He felt blood pour out of his nose, and his eyes, and his ears until finally he collapsed and there was a wall of people around him, all strangers, all concerned and curious.

Sasuke Uchiha hadn't written a word in three years. He was meant to be a writer; one of the best but instead he was a junkie, a druggie and just a little bit of a whore.

But ever since his brother's death he hadn't been able to write a single word. His brother had basically raised him but when Sasuke was barely eighteen years old his brother had just vanished off the face of the earth and everyone presumed he was dead.

Sasuke had been published at fourteen. Ever since then, he had been the pampered little writer with a red, plush cushion under his golden mind that bubbled with fantastic stories. Everyone loved him when the words poured out easily but the second, the very second, that eternal fountain stopped, their love stopped too. Sasuke had no one. His parents were long dead.

Sasuke had always been fond of drugs. He had smoked his first cigarette at eleven. He had been popping pills since he was thirteen. That was the thing about a parent-less household.

You could do whatever the fuck you wanted.

People said he was genius and that a tortured mind led to a tortured body but all Sasuke wanted to do was pluck out the mind they seemed to crave and be normal and sane.

Above all, Sasuke wanted to be sane.

Sasuke Uchiha woke up in hospital three days later. He felt terrible. Every part of his body ached. When he tried to move he discovered that there was tube down his mouth.

"Don't move." Said a soft voice, "I'll get all these things out of you."

Sasuke didn't move but he could feel a needle slide out his arm then the tube down his throat eased out slowly to reveal the intern.

Sasuke breathed in hoarsely and began to cough. He rolled over as he heaved and the intern gripped his shoulders.

"Are you okay?" She said and Sasuke could almost taste the sincerity in her voice.

"Fuck off." He said slowly and she quickly removed her hands.

"I'm sorry," She said, "But it's my job to make sure you're okay."

"FUCK OFF!" He shouted and threw a pillow in her general direction. He heard her scuttle away from the room. He collapsed on the bed again. He felt exhausted. He didn't know why he had reacted so harshly but the second he saw her face it was like something just clicked into place.

He covered his face with his hands and clenched his hair in to two small fists. He tried to hold onto the words that had suddenly blossomed in his mind.

_If only it was as easy to live as it was to die. _

Sasuke stood up very suddenly. He saw that he was wearing a paper thin hospital gown but when he rummaged in some closets around his room he found the clothes he had been wearing the night he collapsed on the sidewalk. He quickly pulled on his black pants and dark blue shirt then he walked out the room. He took care to act like he was not a patient. It was not difficult now that he was in normal clothes.

He hurried to the nearest exit and when he was hit by the cold, midnight air. He didn't know where he was and he didn't care. He had to get home as soon as possible, get to his computer or at least some paper and a pen, or else he would start clawing the words onto the wall with his fingers.

_The girl's eyes swirled like whirlpools in an emerald ocean. _

_The girl's skin was supple porcelain_

_The girl _

_The girl _

The headache hit Sasuke like a sledge hammer. He slammed into the wall and clung to the brick. His vision blurred and he began to blink repetitively.  
"Uchiha-san? What are you doing out here?" He heard a familiar voice then he felt small warm arms cradle his body.

"I'm taking you back to the hospital!" The voice was stern but when Sasuke gripped her sleeve and looked at her face, he saw her green eyes soften.

"I hate hospitals. I'm fine. Just help me to the nearest train station or something."

The green eyed girl scoffed, "Do you think I'm stupid? You almost died."

"Died?" He asked, genuinely surprised.

"Do you have anyidea how much cocaine was in your system?" She asked him, not unkindly.

Sasuke immediately felt his pockets, "You fuckers took the stash from me."

"Well, I mean, we only saved your life." She hissed.

Sasuke smiled at her. It was his best and worst smile because it was false but it allowed people to hand themselves over to him, this charming boy, so he could manipulate them any way he wished.

"Do you really want me to go back there? I'm a drug addict and that place is nothing but a porcelain toilet for me to sniff crack from."

She faltered and for a moment, Sasuke believe his dazzling smile had worked but then she opened her mouth, smiled, and laughed at him.

"You think I'm going to fall for that?" She asked.

Sasuke glared at her.

She sighed then, "But you're right. I can't put you back in there. You're just going to steal drugs and try to escape again."

Sasuke grinned, "So you'll let me go?"

"Hell no!" She exclaimed and Sasuke's face dropped.

"I'm taking you to my place," She said and began to pull him along, "You don't technically need to be in hospital anymore. You're not dying anymore but you still need medical attention and even if I'm just an intern I can still help you. Also, I think you need some other sort of help. We couldn't find anyone for you and I think someone like you just needs a… somebody."

She stopped talking when she realised that Sasuke was glaring at her.

"I'm sorry…" She said in a small voice, "I didn't… I just meant..."

"What's your name?" He asked suddenly, if only to stop her talking.

She blushed and said, "Saskura."

"Hn." He grunted.

"I know your name already, of course. I took care of you when you were sleeping…' She said before trailing off again.

"Are you seriously kidnapping me?" He asked bluntly.

She laughed, "I'm not kidnapping you. Look, you can barely stand if I let go off you."

They were walking now. Sasuke was using Sakura as a sort of makeshift walking stick. He had her arm slung over her shoulder and they hobbled along together. Where they were going, Sasuke didn't know.

"I can walk by myself?" Sasuke scoffed.

"Why don't we test that theory?" Sakura said and began to move away from him. Immediately, Sasuke felt dizzy and instinctively clung to Sakura's sleeve and making her smirk in victory.

"Do you often take strange patients home with you?" He asked, knowingly flirting. He expected her to blush and look away but she confidentially said,

"Only the pretty ones."

Sasuke gaped at her, "I'm not _pretty." _

"Oh, shut up, pretty boy." She laughed.

Sasuke found himself laughing with her.

Sakura lived in a very small apartment in the 'bad side' of time. She helped him up the stairs and by the time she unlocked the apartment, Sasuke was exhausted.

"I'm usually not so unfit." He said.

Sakura laughed as she dropped the keys in a bowl by the door and Sasuke flopped on to her couch.

"Don't lie to yourself, Sasuke. I'm training to be a doctor and I took care of you for three days. I noticed that your lungs are in a particularly devastated state of ruin. How long have you been smoking?"

"I started when I was eleven."

Sakura whistled, "You should stop."

Her voice was muffled because she was in another room and when she returned, she draped a blanket gently over Sasuke's half sleeping form.

"Why have you never stopped before?" She asked softly as she knelt by his side.

Sasuke shrugged sleeping, "No one ever asked me to."

"Well, for the sake of your health, and my sanity, please stop smoking."

Sasuke looked into her emerald eyes and said, "Okay."

She smiled and softly kissed his forehead like he was a small boy. He closed his eyes under the touch of her lips.

"I'm going to have to go through withdrawal pretty soon." He said without opening his eyes.

She stroked his raven hair, "I know. I'll help you through it. You don't have to go back to the hospital."

"Thank you," He said then paused, "Why are you being so kind to me? We barely know each other."

Sakura shrugged, "It looked like you needed a somebody."

At that point, Sasuke must have fallen asleep because the next time he opened his eyes, it was completely dark and he was alone.

For a moment, he shivered.

Then he sat up, feeling the words that had drilled through him alive in his veins again. He went to a desk and picked up a pencil and a pen and wrote until he ran out of paper then, he wrote on the table surface and then on the walls until the blunt pencil finally snapped. He rummaged around for a pen, found a permanent marker and continued to write on the walls until they were covered in dark marks.

Only then, did Sasuke step back and admire his work.

And it was only after that that he realised that Sakura was going to kill him.

He sighed. He felt worn out again. He ran his fingers through his hair. It was true that he was relieved. He couldn't believe how easily the words came now. With a smile, he remembered the pinkette and, with a smirk, stalked to her room like a ghost in this stranger's apartment.

He opened the door with a creak and stood over her while she slept.

She shifted as she began to wake up and Sasuke began to panic, thinking he should leave but then realising it was too late.

"Sasuke..?" She muttered, "What's wron-,"

"Wait, he said. Don't stay anything. Pretend you're still asleep. This will be easier for me if you pretend you're still asleep."

She stared at him for a while then slowly closed her eyes as if she was sleeping. Sasuke bent over her and gently pressed his lips against hers. Her lips were soft and moved gently to his. When he pulled away he leaned his forehead against hers and said,

"I fucked up your walls."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"What the FUCK, Sasuke?" Sakura screamed as she switched on the light and saw the state of her living room. Half a novel was scrawled on the walls. She spun around, glaring at them all, then got dizzy and had to sit down.

"What the hell is this?" She asked, not exasperated, "Are you some sort of crazy person? Have I unwittingly invited a serial killer into my home?"

Sasuke laughed, "No, I'm just a writer."

Sakura glared at him, "Are you serious? Are you using that as some sort of excuse? This is crazy, Sasuke. People don't just go into other people's homes and write books on the walls!"

"And people don't invite complete strangers into their homes!" Sasuke shouted back.

Saskura fell silent for a moment then spat, "Don't turn this around on me. I invited you into my home and you ruin it by fucking up my house!"

"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I couldn't stop. I started and I ran out of paper and I couldn't stop."

Sakura looked hopelessly at the walls, "What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Leave it. That way when I leave, there'll always be a part of me here." He smiled.

Sakura rolled her eyes, "As completely mushy as that is, I rent this apartment. My landlord is going to _kill _me."

"I'm not trying to be mushy," Sasuke retorted.

Sakura laughed, "Says the man who just woke me up and kissed me."

"Says the man who just fucked up your walls," Sasuke pointed out.

Sakura looked around again and cried out, "My walls!"

"Don't you want to know why I did it?" He asked.

Sakura didn't answer. She was leaning with her cheek against the wall pondering how on earth she was going to explain this to her ill-tempered landlord. When she pushed herself away from the wall she had his words imprinted backwards on her cheek.

"Sakura… I'm not sorry." He said suddenly.

Sakura flew into a rage and punched him with all her might.

"FUCK YOU UCHIHA!" she screamed and threw her flailing ribs at her. He caught her arms and held her close to his chest then, together, they fell to the floor. She tried to break free from his grip but he was too strong.

"Let go off me!" She wailed, "You're crazy! You're a crazy, crazy writer who doesn't make any sense!"

"I want to tell you why I did it." He said calmly.

"I know why you did it! You did it to fuck up my life after I just tried to help you!"

"No," He said with his voice like dark velvet making Sakura instantly relax in his arms. Suddenly, she was aware of how close they were to one another. She could feel his breath and hear his heartbeat.

"I did it for you." He said and stroked her pink hair, "I did it because you inspire me, Sakura. There's something about you that just woke up me up. After all these years that I've been asleep."

He pushed Sakura on the floor until he hovered over her. He looked at her in her beautiful, trembling eyes and when he spoke, his words drifted over her face and around her neck to fit like a hangman's noose,

"You're my muse." He whispered softly in her ear, "Dante had Beatrice. Why can't I have you?"

Sakura looked at him, "Beatrice died."

Sasuke leaned in so close that their lips brushed when he next spoke, "We all die."

Then he kissed her again. He kissed deeply. He bit her bottom lip and his drifting hands caressed her sides from her cheeks to just below her breath and Sakura let him do it because, quite simply, she wanted him too. He moved to kiss her neck, nipping until her skin burnt blue. Sakura looked up at the ceiling while he kissed her neck and his hand moved up her stomach. When she felt his fingertips touch her breast she said,

"Sasuke, we just met."

"So?" He said. His eyes were like animals. He wanted her and he wanted her now.

"So I'm not a whore. Get off me." She said and lightly pushed him. He moved aside and let her sit up only to curl his arms and legs around her back and bury his face into the nape of her neck.

"What if I'm the whore?" He teased.

Sakura laughed bitterly, "I'm going to bed. It's been a long night. Let's talk in the morning?"

"Okay." He said wistfully as he watched her go.

She disappeared into her bedroom, leaving Sasuke sitting on the floor. He sighed and followed her into her bedroom where, despite anything she may have said although she said nothing, he climbed into bed with her and curled around her with his strong arm around her chest as if he protected her from the monsters in his own head,


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. SURPRISE!**

Sakura woke up in the early hours of the morning because she missed the comforting weight of Sasuke's arm around her waist. She yawned, stretched, and turned around looking for him, only to find herself alone in the bed that now seemed impossibly large for just one person.

"Sasuke?" She called and sat up.

When there was no answer she flipped over the blankets and climbed out of bed, her bare feet padding softly on the wooden floorboards. She opened the door to her bedroom and walked in to the hall.

"Sasuke?" She called again. For a terrible moment, she thought he had left her but then there was a small, murmur of a voice coming from her bathroom.

The door stood ajar just enough for Sakura to catch a glimpse of the man instead, standing in the center with his lean arms around his chest.

"Sakura?" He whispered.

She opened the door and walked inside. She could immediately see that Sasuke was not the happiest or, for a matter of fact, the healthiest and the moment. He was shivering as if he was freezing but sweating as if it was boiling hot.

"Oh no… Sasuke…" She said and moved to put her arms around him.

He flinched away and snapped, "Don't touch me."

Sakura lowered her arms, hurt, "You're going through withdrawal now. You need my help."

Sasuke scoffed, "I don't need anyone."

Sakura was completely caught off guard. She couldn't believe that he had changed so much since last night, when he called her his 'muse' and cradled her as she slept. With a sudden epiphany, she realized that Sasuke didn't want to be seen as weak.

Sakura stepped back, pursing her lips, unsure of what to do. She shook her head and said,

"Sasuke, I don't give a shit about your stupid pride. I don't know if you've been through withdrawal before but it is going to be difficult. It's going to get worse so get off your pedestal and get in to bed."

Sasuke glared at her but Sakura grabbed his wrist and began pulling him to her bedroom. He struggled against it half-heartedly.

"Let me go, you whore!" He growled but Sakura pretended to be unaffected even though it bit at her self-esteem.

She threw him into bed and he landed face down. He didn't move.

"You're so annoying." He said, his voice muffled by the blankets. Sakura could only laugh. She helped him into bed and drew the blankets to his chin. Sasuke was suddenly reminded of his mother but he quickly pushed the thought aside.

"Stay here." She said, "There's no way I can cure withdrawal but I help the pain."

"The pain?" He asked.

Sakura laughed lightly, "I'm guessing you've never been through withdrawal before."

Sasuke shrugged, "I've never been off the stuff long enough to be hit withdrawal."

"Then this is going to be difficult…" She said her voice heavy with concern.

Sasuke scoffed, "I'll be fine."

"Of course you will," She said because she didn't want to hurt Sasuke's pride.

She felt his forehead and Sasuke shivered beneath the warmth of her palm. When she felt his raging fever, she sighed and stroked his cheek with the back of her knuckles.

"It's going to be okay." She said.

Within half an hour, it became clear that she had lied. Sakura had never seen a case of withdrawal this bad. His temperature kept on increasing but he insisted he was freezing. He shook so much it looked like he was having a seizure. Sakura kept on replacing the wet cloth on his forehead but it heated instantaneously with contact with his feverish skin. His lips were cracked and bleeding. Eventually, he gave up protesting against the measures she took to make him feel better and just lay there with his eyes glazed over. At one point, she thought he had fallen asleep but then the coughing began. The loud, racking cough echoed through his skeleton, loud and thunderous. It sounded like a thousand brittle nails dragged across thousands of chalk boards. It scared Sakura because it sounded so dangerously demonic.

He couldn't lie down because he was coughing so much. He sat, hunched over, in the bed as Sakura tried to make him drink water that just made him feel worse.

Eventually he slapped her hand away and sent the glass of water from her hand and let it shatter against the wall.

"FUCK OFF SAKURA!" He shouted his voice hoarse and scratching.

For a moment, Sakura seriously considered leaving but then she couldn't, she wouldn't, leave her patient in need.

"I'm going to get you another pain pill," She said.

She had seen people go through withdrawal before. Fuck, she had seen _newborn babies _go through withdrawal before because their mothers had been addicted to any number of substances.

But she had never expected it to be so much more difficult to watch Sasuke go through this. She was shaking almost as much as him with the effort it took to keep her tears from pouring down her cheeks.

He leaned forward and heaved, coughing erratically. Sakura winched with every cough. When it stopped and Sasuke withdraw his hand from his mouth, it was covered in blood.

"Fuck." Sakura swore softly.

Sasuke glared at her, "I'm fine." He insisted.

But his voice wheezed and he was a sickly colour of white. His eyes were bloodshot and bulging.

"It'll be okay." She said again, "It'll be okay. You just have to get through this."

Sasuke closed his eyes again and fell silent.

"I just have to get through this." She whispered, under her breath.

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and he said, "What is your surname? I don't know your surname."

Sakura smiled softly, "I'll tell you when you get better."

"What if I don't get better?"

Sakura's eyes flashed dangerously, "Don't even think that, Sasuke."

"Just tell me, in case." He said.

"No! Only when you get better!"

Sasuke's hand gripped her wrist tightly. Sakura wasn't sure if he knew his own strength because she could feel his fingers bruising her porcelain skin.

"Tell me." He glared.

"Haruno. My full name is Sakura Haruno." She stuttered and he relinquished his hold on her but even as he did, Sakura thought that he had not even heard her.

Sasuke could hear this pounding in his ears, this white hot noise that rushed through his skull. He felt so sick. He felt nauseous and retched on an empty stomach.

Two hours later, the fever began to take a toll on his mind and Sakura listened patiently as Sasuke confused her with his mother.

He shook her and screamed at her. He asked her why she had died and what the fuck she was doing there now. Eventually, after hours of looking after him, Sakura burst into tears. Sasuke didn't notice and he continued to yell obscenities in her ear.

"No." She whimpered. He didn't pay any attention to her.

"No." She said softly as she disentangled her from his grip. He didn't even notice when she ran from the room.

She didn't stop running until she left her apartment building. She stood there, thinking about what she was about to do. It was the only possible solution, she believed.

Sakura lived in a dodgy neighborhood and even though she had never indulged in the activity herself, she knew where all the drug dealers were. She ran to the park, all the way to the abandoned play park where only the damned remained.

She approached a shady looking man with his hood up. He was sitting on a swing that hung forlornly on the lowest branch of a giant oak tree.

"Do you have any cocaine?" She asked bluntly when she was face to face with him.

The man's head snapped up and the sound of her voice.

"What the fuck, lady?" He snapped, "You don't just walk up to people and ask if they have illegal drugs!"

"If you don't have any, then I'll find someone who does!" She shouted.

"Calm your tits, woman!" He exclaimed, "I've got what you need. You're just lucky there's no one around."

"How much?" She asked desperately.

"How much do you want?"

"Enough." She was almost crying.

The drug dealer sighed, "How much is enough?"

"I don't know!" She wailed pathetically.

"Is this for you?" The drug dealer asked suddenly.

There was a pause then Sakura finally answered, "No. It's for my friend."

"Is he going through withdrawal?"

Sakura bit her lip, "Yes."

The Drug Dealer nodded, "Okay. That can be pretty rough. You know what; I'll give you just a little bit. It's not enough to get any one high but it'll be enough to take the pain away."

"Oh. God. Thank you. Thank you so much." She said, feeling relief wash over her in waves.

The drug dealer took a small, plastic bag out of his over-grown coat and Sakura took it gently in her hands then held it close to her chest like something precious.

"Thank you." She said again and added, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

The drug dealer laughed, "Even though I'm a criminal, doesn't mean I don't have a heart."

Sakura looked at him skeptically.

"Okay, fine. I feel guilty over something. The other day I sold a fuckload of cocaine to one guy. It was enough to kill him and the worst thing is, I could see he was buying it so he could kill himself."

Sakura bit her lip, "I'm sure he's fine."

But the drug dealer just shook his head, "How the fuck am I supposed to know that?"

Sakura looked at the tiny bag of white powder then said, "What's your name?"

"Naruto," He smiled as if no one had ever asked him that before, "Naruto Uzimaki."

"Thank you, Naruto." She said, smiling, then turned around and ran all the way back to her apartment.

When she burst into her bedroom, she was shocked to see Sasuke sitting up. He looked one hundred times better than he had when she left.

"Where did he go?" He asked accusingly.

Sakura gulped, "I went to get you some more medicine but I don't think you need it. You look a lot better."

"I feel a lot better." He muttered, "I'm just tired now."

"That's great," She said and the happiness hurt.

He reached out for her and she collapsed in his warm, welcoming arms. He stroked her hair and kissed her.

"Thank you," He said.

"It was nothing," She lied.

She dropped the small packet of cocaine and kicked it beneath the bed so Sasuke would never know of its existence.

Sasuke kissed her. His eyes closed. He did not see what she had brought home. And he never will, Sakura thought as she kissed him back. She pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. As she kissed his neck, Sasuke grinned and said,

"What happened to moving too fast?"

"Fuck it." She said and slid her small, warm hands under his shirt to feel his chiseled muscles there,

"Hn," He grunted, "I suppose now is a good a time as any to tell you that I'm jealous, over-protective and possessive."

Sakura looked up at him and grinned, "Then I suppose I should admit that I'm clingy and have a desperate need to be loved."

"Works for me." He sighed as she continued to kiss his neck.

He flipped her over on her back and wished in her ear,

"Don't think I don't know what you did…"

Sakura's eyes widened as she thought that he _knew. _He knew she had gotten him drugs.

"You took care of me. Even when I was a selfish bastard."

"Oh." Sakura breathed a heavy sigh of relief, "You're welcome by the way."

There was silence as she was trapped in his dark eyes. Finally she said,

"You thought I was your mother…"

"Did I? Must have been the fever."

"What happened to her?"

"She died. Both my parents died."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He said and kissed her again.

Sakura couldn't help but think, from a Freudian view, their relationship was unraveling before it had even begun.

**(A/N): Thanks for reading. Surprise! Naruto is the drug dealer that sold cocaine to Sasuke in the first chapter :3 Also, this will not be incestuous at ALL. I'm just including the Oedipus Theory (the Freudian belief that every boy wants to fuck his mother and kill his father) because I think Sasuke just has some mommy issues to work through… and daddy issues… mostly just issues. I still love him. **

**Please Review. Kthnxbai :3 **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**(a/n): So, there's a lemon in this chapter. I don't think it's so hectic but you have been warned :? **

Sasuke stood in the middle of the living room, turning around slowly. He watched his words on the walls swirl around him like a tornado, going faster and faster until he suddenly stopped, feeling dizzy. He looked at Sakura who sat with her back pinned angrily straight on the plushy, green couch.

"I am so sorry." He apologized.

"Hn." She scoffed.

Sasuke shrugged, "It's some of my best work."

"Get your 'best work' off of my fucking walls!" Sakura shouted. Sasuke smirked. He would never be able to take her seriously when she was angry. She was just too cute. Her pink hair betrayed her in that aspect.

"I'll rewrite it then I'll paint your walls myself. I just have to go get my laptop." He said.

Sakura froze. She hadn't considered that he would actually _leave_. Suddenly she felt like something was stuck in her throat. It must've shown because when Sasuke looked at her, he smirked.

"Wow, you weren't lying. You really are clingy. I'll be gone for an hour. I have to come back, you have my new best seller on your walls."

Sakura scowled, "I wasn't… I'm not… God! You're so arrogant!"

Sasuke put his hands in his pockets and leaned closer to her, making her lean back in fear that she might throw her arms around him. He smirked an inch away from her lips.

"It's not arrogance when it's true."

Sakura rolled her eyes, fighting through her blush, "Quit it."

"Quit what?" He whispered and let his breath wash over her face like soft water.

Sakura flinched away, "Being so goddamn irresistible."

Sasuke laughed, cold and brief, then stepped back, "That's your fault, not mine."

Sakura rolled her eyes again and walked off. She could feel Sasuke's cold, bottomless onyx eyes following her as she picked up her bag.

"I have to go to work anyway," She said cattily.

"Have fun," He said as she walked to the door.

She paused then said, "Do you have a key?"

"Huh?"

"To get back into the apartment. I'm leaving now, I won't here to let you in when you come back with your laptop," Sakura explained.

"Oh," Sasuke muttered, "No… I don't have a key."

Sakura pulled a spare from her bag and placed it in his outstretched hand then she looked at him and said,

"Don't lose it, okay? It's the only one I have."

Sasuke pushed her wrist with his fingertips as he drew away, "I never lose anything."

"Good. I'll be back at about seven unless there's an emergency." She said and pecked him on the lips. Sasuke kissed her back but stumbled back slightly when she withdrew so quickly. It was such casual things, that kiss, but in some ways, it meant more than anything.

Then she swept out of the room and closed the door. Sasuke stood there for a moment, caressing his lips absent-mindedly, and thought about his muse. In his mind, she was known as only 'the muse' and sometimes, when his mind became truly dark, he thought about her as 'his muse' as if she belonged to him and only him.

He could feel it. With her absence, he could feel the inspiration slipping from him. It was like trying to hold water in his cupped hands but while she was there it was simple. All he had to do was picture her face and some of it came back to him. He was truly terrified of slipping back into that stagnant state of mind.

Sasuke paced up and down for awhile before taking a shower and leaving the apartment. It was funny, he thought, as he locked the door behind him, how easily they seemed to fit into each other's lives.

Maybe Sakura was right. Maybe this was moving too fast. Maybe it was too much too quickly.

He shook his head of the thought. He was a writer, and this is what writers do. They find muses and then they create art with words.

By the time he entered his own apartment, he was convinced that Sakura and his relationship was fine as it was. He picked up his laptop bag and walked straight out of the door again. He didn't feel at home there anymore, he never had.

He made sure that by the time he went back to Sakura's apartment she'd be home. He didn't feel like staying there, surrounded by his own words, without her. He let himself in then dropped the keys in a bowl by the door.

"Sakura?" He called but there was no answer. The apartment was dark. She couldn't be there yet but as he listened, he could hear the faint sound of voices. He frowned, thinking that Sakura had brought company over, but then he realized that the television was on. It cast an eerie blue light over the lounge and made his words bleed black shadows.

He stood and watched what was playing on the screen. It was a home video. That was clear from the wobbly camera and the fact that he recognized someone.

He watched as a four-year old Sakura played in the park. She ran too quickly on clumsy legs and tripped. There was a pause and then she broke into a heart breaking wail. Sasuke could hear someone off camera exclaim then run to the child. It was an adult man, who lifted her into his arms and held her tightly until dried tears stained her cheeks.

"She's okay. She's okay," Said the man as he stroked the child's pink hair.

Sasuke assumed that the man was her father. He walked away but the sounds of television followed him throughout the apartment. He walked to her bedroom then entered with a soft knock.

It was then that he found her, lying still on the floor as if she had died.

"SAKURA!" He shouted, panicking. He crouched down beside her and shook her slightly. She did not react or wake. He leaned closer to her until he could see her face.

Her eyes were open and she stared blankly at him. He could tell that she had been crying. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was unnaturally pale. She looked like a ghost of the small, pink-haired girl in the television.

"Sakura? What's wrong?" He spoke in a hushed whisper as if he was scared he might wake her. She whimpered slightly but didn't speak. Sasuke lay down next to her and stroked her cheek. They lay in silence that covered them like silk. Sasuke didn't look away. He didn't grow impatient which was very, very unlike him.

Finally she said, a small voice, "My dad died a week ago…"

Sasuke didn't say anything but he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear then leaned forward and kissed her, briefly, like she had kissed him this morning.

"You should have said something." He said.

"You were too captured by the idea of me being your muse." She explained.

"You're still my muse when you're sad. You will always be my muse."

Sakura laughed bitterly and tried to look away, "This is stupid."

Sasuke swiftly moved on top of her. He made his arms a cage and made her look at him then he bent close so his lips brushed the skin just below her ear,

"But it _works_,"

Sakura looked at him with her vividly green, bloodshot eyes and she knew he was lying to himself as much as he was lying to her.

After that, Sasuke basically moved in. Sakura couldn't remember discussing anything with him. One day, he was there and he just stayed there. Their relationship remained undefined. He wasn't her boyfriend, he wasn't even her friend. Sakura didn't have the time or energy to explain that he was a writer and she was his muse so she just told everyone that he was her roommate who helped her pay the rent.

Sakura had all these annoying habits, apparently, that made Sasuke angry. She wouldn't make the bed straight after she woke up or she shuffled her feet too loudly. He would start shouting and raving for absolutely no reason and when he finally calmed down he would admit that he thought she was breathing too loudly. He was not an easy man to live with.

Sasuke worked non-stop on his book for four days. He didn't sleep and he barely ate anything. Sakura went in and out of the apartment and whenever she saw him, he was hunched over his laptop typing away although he complained that he couldn't write when she was gone.

One day she got back, when she finished work, Sasuke greeted her excitedly. Sakura was shocked; she had never seen Sasuke display such vivid emotion. It almost hurt to look at him.

"I finished it. I just sent it to my old editor." He said.

"That's great!" She smiled, "That was really quick though."

Sasuke shrugged, "What are you going to do, Muse?"

Sakura flinched. He had taken to calling her 'muse' for some reason.

"I'm really happy for you, Sasuke." She smiled, "So, I guess you're leaving now?"

Sasuke looked at her quickly, "What?"

"Well, this was obviously temporary. Wasn't it?" Sakura said, "We barely know each other."

Sasuke laughed, "You don't really want me to leave."

"Maybe that's true but I think it would be… healthier if you did."

"Healthier? HEALTHIER? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Sasuke yelled.

"Do you think this is normal?" Sakura screamed back, defiant.

"But it works!"

"No it doesn't! This is sick, Sasuke!"

Sasuke froze, "How?"

"You're turning me into your mother!"

Sasuke burst out laughing, "You're crazy!"

"I noticed it when you were going through withdrawal. You confused me with her for about an hour."

"I don't believe this! I was sick!" He shouted.

"YOU'RE STILL SICK!" She yelled.

There was silence as Sasuke looked away, infuriated. When his face snapped back to her, he said,

"You really shouldn't be such a hypocrite."

Sakura's eyes flashed, "What?"

"I watched the rest of those home videos when you were at work, don't you think I noticed?"

"What are you talking about?"

Sasuke laughed coldly, "You come here and talk about how I'm using you to replace my mother but you are doing exactly the same thing!"

"Shut up!" She screamed, "He was NOTHING like you!"

"He's exactly like me! Moody, arrogant, selfish and then, every once in a while, he'll show that he might just care and that's what makes you follow him around like a lovesick puppy!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" She shouted.

"Of course it's true! For fuck's sakes, I even _look _a little like him! Is this why you took me home that night? Because you missed daddy?"

"Fuck off Sasuke!" She sneered and, turning her back and walking to the kitchen. Sasuke crept after her.

"Is that why you let me move in so easily… because I remind you of daddy?"

Suddenly she turned around and pushed him roughly,

"Stop it!" She yelled.

Sasuke gripped her wrist, "Is that why you took care of me? Because you couldn't save your dad?'

Sakura turned around, wrenching her wrist out of Sasuke's grip.

"AM I YOUR MUSE BECAUSE I REMIND YOU OF YOUR MOTHER?" she screamed. Sasuke noticed that she was crying. She slammed her fists into his chest.

"Why am I your muse? I don't understand! What do I even mean to you?" She screamed.

Sasuke caught her in his hands and held her tightly until she couldn't move. She continued it struggle and swear at him until the moment he smashed her lips against hers.

She responded automatically, angrily gripping his raven locks and pushing her small body into his as his hands roamed over her body. He pushed her against the kitchen counter then, gripping her small waist, lifted her on to it. She wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her neck, making Saskura gasp, and then lightly licked her clavicle to feel the bone beneath her porcelain flesh. He inhaled her scent, his face pressed in to her skin. He could feel her heart beat reverberate through her skeleton and hear her breath come out in small gasps as his hands unconsciously kneaded her breasts.

Suddenly, Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He had waited long enough and he wanted her. Now.

His hands ran up her shirt and he could feel her shiver from the cold but he didn't care. He pulled the shirt off her as Sakura's warm hands treaded over his chest and stomach to remove his own shirt. It felt unexpectedly good to have her bare skin touching his. She was so warm.

He picked her up and continued to kiss her even as he dropped her on the bed and towered over her. He grinded against her as her hands hung belt buckle. She unbuttoned his jeans then slid them off to reveal his striped boxes. Sasuke didn't stop removing her clothes until she was only in her underwear, shivering beneath him. He kissed her naked breast, sucking the nipple until it hardened. She squirmed beneath him, running her fingers up and down his spine. He kissed her stomach and removed her underwear. Sakura gasped and arched her spine as he began to lick her clit.

Sakura wanted to cry out. She ran her fingers through his hair and wrapped her legs around his head. She breathed in deeply as Sasuke moved away.

"Don't stop…" She breathed. Sasuke grinned at her then ran his hand over her flat stomach to clutch her breast tightly.

"What happened to 'we're moving too fast?" He said arrogantly.

Sakura held her hair out her face and said breathless, "Shut up."

Sasuke would've answered but he was distracted by her hands removing his boxers. Her nimble hands worked on him until his eyes rolled back. Needless to say he was shocked that she could make her feel like this with only a few deft movements. When she released him, he breathed heavily and gripped her shoulders. His hand moved down her sides, caressed her calf until he hooked his hand under her knee. He hitched her up so she wrapped around him. He breathed in her ear. He felt like he was aware of every little part of her, that he knew every inch of her skin. He looked into her eyes as he entered her and held her gaze as he began to move. Eventually everything became white noise, everything faded out. He could hear Sakura gasping his name as she held his shoulders, her fingers trembling along his jaw line. He gripped her waist, his fingers making marks in her skin, and he moved her along to the perfect rhythm that formed between.

Sakura cried out loudly when she came. She held him close as he followed her into the riveting bliss and when they were both finished, Sasuke collapsed on her and let her play with her hair.

"What am I to you, Sasuke? Am I just your muse? Are we something more?" she asked, still out of breath.

Suddenly, he had the urge to tell her that he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he had loved her the moment he first saw her.

But he wasn't that person. He wasn't the type of person to remove armor and replace it with amour.

He looked at her and said, "You mean nothing to me."

She didn't look hurt. It was as if she had been expected it somehow.

"Get out of my life," She said evenly, "I never want to see you again."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

And then he was just gone.

He had pulled on his clothes, grabbed his laptop and left. Sakura had not seen him in a week. The only evidence she had that he even existed was his writing on her walls and the packet of cocaine that lay, untouched, under her bed. Sakura slipped back into her routine quickly enough but she couldn't shake this strange numbing feeling as if half her heart was missing.

Sometimes she would catch herself drifting off and thinking about him and other times, she would even catch herself looking for him in crowded places.

It was the right thing to do, she reminded herself. He would've taken her down with him. He would've made her unhappy. That was just who he was.

She didn't want to be sad. She was sad enough for her father. She didn't want another man to make her sad.

"Sakura! Do you want to come out tonight?" Ino asked while they were changing out of their scrubs after finishing their shift.

"No." Sakura snapped.

"Ah, come one. It will make you feel better!"

Sakura shot her a look, "I'm _fine_!"

Ino rolled her eyes, "I know there's something you're not telling me. Something upset you a lot, I can tell."

Sakura laughed bitterly, "Well, my dad did just die!"

Ino pouted, "I know but you were getting better and then all of sudden, you just crashed. I can tell. I'm your best friend."

Sakura rolled her eyes as she tied her shoelace, "I'm fine."

"No you're not and tonight, you're going to get drunk and I'm going to break into shell of yours then you're going to spill all your secrets so tomorrow, you'll feel so much better… or at least hung-over."

Ino smiled wickedly.

"And if I refuse?" Sakura asked.

"Then I will drag you to that bar by your candy-floss hair," Ino said.

Sakura sighed, "But I'm so tired! I just worked a double shift."

"So did I. do you hear me complaining?"

"Okay. Fine!" Sakura snapped, "Take me to your stupid bar!"

Ino did a quick victory dance, "Come one, Sakura! Let's go!"

She pulled Sakura out of locker room and down the street. Sakura still felt grimy from her double shift and she was wearing a simple jeans and T-shirt combination but Ino was suddenly all glitz and glamour. Ino looked like she had spent hours getting ready and Sakura was insanely jealous. They entered a place called Mask's Bar. Sakura could tell, just from five seconds, that this was the type of place Sasuke would go to get his beloved cocaine.

"Ino, what is this place?" She asked, a little nervously.

"Don't worry! I've been here millions of times before. It has lots of interesting people."

Ino was right. Mask's bar was indeed full of interesting people. Most of them looked like artists or mafia bosses. There were fat cats, beautiful girls and whores. Sakura couldn't help but notice that there was no one who looked like a tired intern.

She and Ino sat in a booth and, soon, they were joined by two men that Sakura had never seen before joined them. She found that she enjoyed their company and learnt that their names were Kiba and Shino. Shino was very quiet but Kiba made up for it by telling them fantastic stories about adventures he had had with his dog. Sakura found herself laughing, drinking and, despite herself, thanking Ino for taking her out tonight.

Sasuke had never expected to see her there.

He couldn't fathom the reason why she would come to Mask's bar of all place. When she and her annoying blonde friend had walked in, he had shrunk into the shadows and now he watched her from a corner, nursing his pride as well as a drink.

He watched as she got drunker and drunker. He watched the way she moved she moved through the crowd like smoke. Not once, did he take his eyes off of her. When she stood up, she swayed and Sasuke wanted nothing more, nothing less, then to walk up to her and enfold her in his arms just to steady her.

But he did not move. She said she never wanted to see him again… but that didn't mean he couldn't see her.

He watched as she slipped her number to some man he had been talking to. He watched as the man walked into the bathroom. Sasuke followed him there.

The man was alone in the bathroom when Sasuke grabbed the back of his head and slammed him against the wall. Sasuke grabbed his shirt and held him against the wall, choking him slightly.

"What the fuck, man?" He slurred.

"What's your name?" Sasuke asked.

He looked at Sasuke, "Kiba. Who the fuck are you?"

Sasuke didn't answer, "What were you doing with Sakura?"

"We were just talking!"

"Why did she give you her number?" Sasuke growled.

"She… I don't know!"

Sasuke slammed Kiba's head against the wall. While Kiba was disorientated, Sasuke searched his pockets and retrieved the napkin with Sakura's number on it.

He crunched it up in his fist, "Thank you, Kiba. If you talk to Sakura again, I will kill you."

Sasuke stepped away, "Oh, and don't tell Sakura. She thinks I'm destructive or something."

Kiba was left gaping after Sasuke left. He couldn't believe that Sakura knew someone so blatantly disturbed. He left without a word to Sakura.

Sakura stayed at the bar until well past midnight. Sasuke watched her being all social and normal and _envied _her.

When Sakura left, Sasuke followed her.

She had bravely decided to walk home instead of catching a taxi and Sasuke was insanely worried about her. She stumbled down a few times and laughed at everything. She is _so _drunk, he thought. It was the only moral thing to do, to go help her, but as he moved towards her he heard a voice call her name,

"Sakura? Is that you?"

Sasuke slinked back into the shadows as a blond male reached for Sakura.

"Naruto!" She called happily and slumped against him.

Sasuke glared. Who was this person?

"Jesus, Sakura. How much did you have to drink?" asked Naruto.

"Enough," Sakura hiccupped.

"Tell me where you leave and I'll take you home. My car is right there."

"I'm fine!" Sakura exclaimed, "I don't need no man!"

Naruto laughed at her.

"I'm a strong independent woman. I can do anything!"

"Okay, Sakura. If you insist." NAruto said.

But then Sakura heaved over, resting her hands on her knees. For a second, it looked like she was about to throw up then she composed herself and stood up tall.

"See? Motherfucker!" She laughed then suddenly fell to the floor.

"Sakura!" Naruto called and crouched down, slowly helping her up.

"I feel sick," She said in a small voice.

"Come here," Naruto said calmly and supported her as they walked to his car.

Sasuke watched as they drove away. With no hopes of following the car, he sighed and walked back to his apartment.

Sakura directed Naruto in slurred words to her apartment. When they arrived she suddenly asked him,

"Did you steal this car?"

Naruto laughed, "I'm a drug dealer, not a thief."

"Then where did you get this car?" She asked.

"You'd be surprised what a sound investment cocaine is, Sakura."

"Except when you're the one taking it." She pointed out.

Naruto nodded in agreement and repeated, "Except when you're the one taking it."

There was silence for a moment before Naruto asked,

"So, what happened to your friend? The one going through withdrawal."

Sakura snorted with laughter, "Yeah, you mean Sasuke? He got through it without the drugs and now I have this packet of cocaine just laying under my bed."

Naruto shrugged, "Sell it."

"I am licensed to prescribe medication…" Sakura mused.

"What happened tonight? Are you okay?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"Oh." Sakura looked at him with glazed eyes, "You know my 'friend'?"

"I know of him," Naruto admitted.

"Yeah, well, he's gone now." She said bitterly.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"I kicked him out of my life and now I'm a fool enough to miss him." Sakura said sadly.

"Why did you kick him out?" Naruto asked.

"I… I thought he was using me to replace his mom." She confessed.

"What?"

"When he was going through withdrawal, he confused me with his mother. Our relationship was so twisted. I didn't even know what he was to me. I don't even know what I was to him. We weren't even friends. If I had to put a label on it… I'd have to say I was his muse."

"Excuse me? You were his what?"

Sakura shrugged, "His muse. He was a writer or something. He wrote a book on my walls."

"That's pretty fucked up."

Sakura laughed shrilly, "No, that's not even half of it! Turns out, that I was turning him into my father just as much as he was turning me into his mother! It was so twisted. He told me this and as he said it, it all suddenly made sense but then he kissed me. Suddenly I didn't care that our relationship was psychotic and… and I just let him fuck me."

There was silence until Sakura said,

"And it was good."

Naruto burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" She exclaimed then sighed, "Okay, it's kind of funny."

She started laughing too and soon she couldn't stop then she started sobbing. Naruto wrapped his arms around her and patted her head.

When she calmed down a bit he said, "Did you ever think for a moment that this Oedipus theory you guys have going on might not be such a bad thing?

She looked up at him, "What do you mean?"

"You love your dad, don't you?"

Sakura smiled, "Yeah, I did. He was always there for me. He went to every single ballet recital I ever did. Even though he was a cold, selfish man, it was like there was a special place in his heart… just for me."

"And Sasuke is like that?"

Sakura looked down, "Exactly."

"He's not your father, Sakura." Naruto said.

"And I'm not his mother," She smiled painfully, "Thank you, Naruto. You're the nicest drug dealer I've ever met."

Naruto shrugged smugly, "How many have you met?"

She laughed, truly and happily then let herself out of the car. She waved as he drove away then walked up the stairs. Still very drunk, she had to sit down a few times to manage it. Eventually she stumbled into her apartment and, without looking at her walls, walked to her bedroom.

She crouched down low and rummaged under her bed until she found the little packet of cocaine. She held it in her hand for a few minutes. She opened the packet and poured the white powder onto her palm. She stared at it, half of her hoping that it would just go away. She inhaled it through her nostrils.

Not enough to get you high.

Just enough to get you addicted.

**(A/N): and you thought Sasuke was going to find it. \o/. To tell the truth, I know very little about Cocaine, having never tried it myself. I don't know how to describe the high but I might still try in the next chapter. Please review and stuff. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

Sakura lay back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. She felt woozy, she felt like the world was wobbling spinning and if it collapsed, when it collapsed, it would take her with it.

She opened and closed her emerald eyes. She breathed in deeply, her chest heaving up and down, and she wasn't entirely sure how long she had been there.

"How long have I been here?" She whispered to herself, "Without him?"

She sat up, ran her fingers through her hair. She didn't feel so dizzy anymore. In fact, she felt like she was the only solid thing in a world of water. In her cupboard she found her old ballet shoes and held them in her hands. She had done Ballet for twelve years because her father had insisted that it would teach her poise and elegance. Instead, it had left her with brittle bones and back ache. She had loved though. She loved to dance, to feel the air around you float up and down your skin like dew.

She took off her shoes and tied on her petite ballet shoes. They were hard pointed so she could stand on her toes but she hadn't dance in years and she didn't know if she could still do it.

She went to the lounge and put on some classical music. It was Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky and she let the music full her up like smoke. She stood on her toes, stumbled a few times, but then she began to dance and she realized that it had never left her.

Sasuke didn't know why he was there. When Sakura had driven off in the strange man's car, he had wandered around for a while until his feet had brought him to Sakura's apartment. He didn't want to go to his apartment, he wanted to go home. He stood under her window, mentally arguing with himself. A part of him wanted to storm up there and just stay there. Another part of him wanted to beg Sakura for forgiveness. Then there was another part of him that wanted to go up there and hit her, bruise that beautiful porcelain skin of hers.

It wasn't until he saw her shadow flitting in front of the window that his thoughts completely stopped. He blinked slowly as he watched her. She was dancing. Elegance flowed through her like blood and it looked as if she was puppet strings as thin as spider's threads.

Sasuke watched entranced, watching her dance from the street. Sasuke didn't want to move, he didn't want to think, he didn't want to breathe. He wanted nothing more than to stay there and simply watch her dance for as long as the elements would let him. He wanted to stay there until she noticed him, until she looked down, called him up and let him stay with her. He could hear the music drift down, softly, to the sidewalk. He hummed to it for a while and he closed his eyes, pretending that there was no great space between them.

When the music ended, he opened his eyes. The lights in her apartment were off. There was no life there that he could see so Sasuke turned around and walked away. He walked down the empty streets, lit a cigarette and enjoyed the thrill of nicotine. Sakura had asked him to stop but Sakura wasn't there.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a fleck of gold. He turned around and spat,

"_You!" _

The blond looked around wildly before pointing to his chest and saying, "Me?"

"Yes, you. What the fuck were you doing with Sakura?" Sasuke snapped. He felt completely out of control. He wasn't making sense and he was painfully aware of the fact that he didn't care.

"Sakura? I just gave her a lift home. Who the fuck are you?"

"That's none of your business."

But even as Sasuke said it, he watched the realization click into place in the other man's mind.

"You're Sasuke!" He exclaimed.

"How do you know my name?" Sasuke asked.

The blond ignored him, "And you're that guy! That guy I sold all that crack to! Oh god, you're okay! I thought you'd killed yourself!"

"You're that drug dealer…" Sasuke said as the penny dropped for him to.

He laughed, "It's a small world after all."

"How do you know Sakura?" Sasuke said, pointing at him, "And who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Naruto and Sakura came to buy some cocaine from me. That's how we met. I just helped her out now."

Sasuke frowned, "Why would Sakura need to buy cocaine?"

Naruto's eyes widened as he realized he probably shouldn't have said that.

"Wait! Ignore that! She didn't buy anything from me! She was just passing by and I said hi!"

"She bought it from you when I was going through withdrawal? She was going to give me cocaine?"

"But you didn't need it!" Naruto protested, "You got through withdrawal without the drugs!"

"She did that? For me?"

There was silence for a while. Naruto could see that the gears in Sasuke's head was churning but with no results. Finally he said,

"What the fuck is wrong with her?"

"Huh?" Naruto said, raising an eyebrow.

"Why would she _do _that? It's idiotic. It's annoying. She should've just let me suffer through it. If she'd given me cocaine, it wouldn't have solved anything. I would still be addicted to it."

Naruto stared at Sasuke, "People don't like watching the people they love suffer."

"She wasn't suffering!" Sasuke spat, "I was."

Naruto couldn't believe how difficult it was to get such a basic point through to Sasuke. He shook his head and said,

"You should to her. She misses you."

Sasuke snorted, "Why would I want to see her?"

"Why are you here now?"

Sasuke rubbed his mouth and glared at the blond. The mere mention of cocaine made him itch for some but he ignored it. He tried to focus on other things, like not punching Naruto in the throat.

"Just passing through," Sasuke lied easily then walked away.

"At least call her!" Naruto yelled after him.

Sasuke laughed bitterly, ignored Naruto and said to himself,  
"What would I say?"

Sasuke was in his editor's office in a crisp suit and tie. He slouched heavily in his chair, clearly bored. A door opened and Kakashi walked in.  
"Sasuke! It's so good to see you again! I thought I had lost one of my best writers for good!"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted.

"And as talkative as ever, I see," Kakashi smiled beneath his blue scarf that hid his face.

There was silence for a moment as Kakashi struggled, futilely, to make small talk. Eventually he just coughed and went to his desk. He took out a book and handed it to Sasuke.

"That's just a prototype," Kakashi explained, "If there's anything you want to change-,"

"I want to change the ending," Sasuke interrupted.

Kakashi looked at him, shocked, and then said, "What do you mean, Sasuke? This is the best ending I have seen in all my years of editing."

"It's too happy," Sasuke shook his head, "I want a tragic ending. I want the male main character to die."

Kakashi shook his head, "I'm sorry Sasuke but I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Readers don't like sad endings."

"No… you see, he'll die because the female main character leaves him then he'll be okay… because he's dead," Sasuke explained like it made perfect sense.

"Sasuke, the ending is fine as it is. Why are you trying to change something that is perfect? This book is haunting, heartbreaking and keeps the reader mesmerized. This, to put it bluntly, is the greatest piece of literature I have ever read and I've studied Shakespeare, Yeats and Wilde. If you change a sentence on this masterpiece you're going to fuck it up."

Sasuke glared at Kakashi and said, "That's not the point."

"As your editor, I refuse." Kakashi folded his arms.

"As the writer, I insist."

Kakashi sighed, "I will not publish it if you change it."

"Then I will take it to someone who will," Sasuke snapped.

"Sasuke, are you okay?"

The question shook Sasuke a bit. It was so sudden that at first, Sasuke didn't know how to answer appropriately.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure, Sasuke? I know you. I've known you since you were fourteen. When I read your book I thought… I thought the female character was real like you knew her or something."

Sasuke shook his head, "No, she's not real. She's just something I made up."

"Okay… well, I'm publishing this version of the book so if you want to change it, find yourself a new editor ."

Sasuke sighed and shook his head, "It doesn't matter. It's not such a big deal. I probably wouldn't be able to write a new ending anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"The writer's block came back again."

"Are you fucking serious? You can't write?" Kakashi exclaimed.

"Yeah so don't be expecting a sequel or anything stupid like that."

Sasuke looked at the prototype of his book, "This is probably my last book."

"That breaks my heart a little, Sasuke. You're a very talented writer."

"When I can write." Sasuke pointed out, "The cover is fine. Don't change anything."

Sasuke stood up to leave but not before Kakashi called out to him,

"What about the dedication. I know you usually dedicated the book to your brother and I just-,"

"Sakura," Sasuke interrupted him, "This book is for Sakura."

Sasuke left, slamming the door a little too loudly for it to be polite. Kakashi held the book in his hands, staring at the cover, long after Sasuke had left.

He hadn't been lying. Every word he had said to Sasuke was true. This was the best work of literature he had ever read. The story was about a girl who drew a heart on a piece of paper but then lost it in the wind and the boy who found it and kept it safe. Throughout the story, they got more and more intertwined until finally, they self-destructed but after that they were together. Not because they had to be. Sasuke's characters were together, not because of wedding rings or security or even happiness, because they belonged together.

Kakashi was overwhelmingly relieved that Sasuke hadn't taken this book away to another publisher to change it. As much as he viewed it as a monumental piece of literature, he also believed that it would make him millions especially when there was a movie adaption.

Sakura was still looking for him in crowded places. She had known him for a total of two and a half weeks. She refused to believe that he had had such a big impact on her life in such a small amount of time. Yet, he was still the first thing she thought of when she woke up. It had taken awhile for her to wake up and not expect to find him sleeping next to her.

Sometimes she wondered why she caused herself so much pain. She missed him, why didn't she just go talk to him.

It was her stubbornness, she decided, the day after the cocaine incident that led her to distancing herself from him. He was clearly not as obsessed and she shouldn't be either.

She woke up in a mound of blankets and was still in her ballet shoes. She removed them gingerly, her feet were aching and she had a headache the size of a mountain lodged inside her head. She groaned and rubbed sleep out of her eyes.

The instant she was awake, she wanted to do it again.

The cocaine. The lovely cocaine that had made her feel safe, warm and protected. She knew she hadn't had a real high and curiosity was begging her try.

She scrunched up her face. She was a doctor, she should know better. It was worse, she realized, because she knew exactly where to get some more.

She found Naruto sitting on the swings where they had first met. She sat down next to him on the swing. He looked at her and grinned,

"How do you feel?"

"I have a headache," Sakura pouted.

"Sorry sweetie, I don't have anything for that."

Sakura bit her lip, "Yes, you do."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, "What did you do?"

Sakura blushed guiltily, "I took that cocaine you gave me."

"Sakura!" Naruto shouted, "You should know better! You saw what it did to your friend!"

She bit her lip painfully, "I know but I'm just curious. One more time can't hurt? Can it?"

Naruto burst into chaotic laughter making Sakura blush even more.

"What's so funny?" She asked angrily.

Naruto stopped laughed, gripped her shoulder and looked at her directly in the eyes,

"Sakura, you have never taken Cocaine."

"What? But you sold me some!" She stuttered.

"It was a placebo. I give to some people who I can see are going through withdrawal. It works as well as the real thing, as you can see."

"You bastard!" Sakura gasped, "What was it?"

"Just some flour and sugar," He smiled, "Pretty harmless."

Sakura put her face in her hands, "I feel like such an idiot."

"As well you should," Naruto laughed, "You shouldn't get into drugs. They'll tear you apart."

"I don't know why I did it," Sakura admitted, "I still don't know why I did it."

"I have a theory," Naruto said, making Sakura lift her head from her hands and look at him.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Cocaine is Sasuke's drug? Right?"

Sakura nodded.

"So… you took it because you miss him and you saw it as a way to feel closer to him."

"What?" Sakura said shrilly, "I don't miss him! I don't need him!"

Naruto was not fazed. He simply said, "How did it feel when you were taking the drug?"

"Um… I felt warm, safe and protected," She admitted, "But it wasn't real! None of it was real!"

"And how did you feel when you're with Sasuke?"

Sakura bit her lip, "Warm, safe and protected."

"See?" Naruto said, gesturing with his hands.

Sakura felt like something very heavy had just slid off of her. She looked up at the sky in an effort to drain the sudden tears back into her skull.

"Sakura?" Naruto asked nervously, "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I miss him," She muttered, "I miss him so much."

Naruto held her as she began to cry.

"Please, bring him back. Bring him back." Sakura said in a small weak voice.

"Okay… I promise."

**(A/N): Another chapter done. It's weird though. In this story, it's a story within a story within a story. Storyception. Just saying. Please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

It had been a month since Sakura had seen Sasuke when Ino pulled out the first edition hardcover and started reading it.

Sakura glanced at the book, "What's that?"

Ino looked at her and gasped, "Oh my god! You haven't read it yet?"

"No," Sakura answered flatly.

They were at Ino's flat. It was meant to be a girl's night out but Ino was so entranced with her new book that they hadn't even left yet. Sakura was all dressed, unlike last time, she looked her best. She wanted to leave. She wanted to dance with strangers and drink far too much wine.

"You're usually not much of a reader," Sakura stated.

"I know! But I swear this book changed my life!" Ino exclaimed.

Sakura rolled her eyes, "What's it about?"

"It's about this boy… and this girl and these things happened and then this-,"

"Let me just read the blurb," Sakura interrupted and took the book from her friend. She flipped it over and read the back. She smirked when she finished,

"Sounds cute."

"It is. It's breaking my heart, Sakura! My heart!"

Sakura rolled her eyes, "It can't be that amazing. It's just the new fad. It'll go away."

"Don't say that until you actually read it," Ino said.

Sakura sighed, "Who wrote it."

"This guy called S. Uchiha."

Sakura choked on air. Ino looked at Sakura like she had gone insane until she realised that Sakura wasn't stopping any time soon. Ino put down her drink and pounded her friend on the back until she took in a huge, shaking breath.

"Sakura, are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine," Sakura stuttered and grabbed the book again. She could see it now, the small inscribing of his name on the cover, just below the title.

"It's a stupid title," Sakura snapped.

"What? Cherry Blossoms? No, you see, it makes sense if you read it"

Sakura rolled her eyes and opened the book. There was a picture of Sasuke on the back cover and it made her heart drop into her stomach when she saw this 2D representation of the real thing. Instinctively, her fingertip's brushed his frozen face.

"He's quite handsome, isn't he? And young too," Ino remarked.

"Yes, he's beautiful," Sakrura muttered.

Ino snorted, "Beautiful? Men aren't beautiful."

"He is."

Ino rolled her eyes, "Seems just like you. To fall in love with an idea."

Sakura closed the book with a snap, "Maybe I should just go home."

"No! We'll go out now." Ino exclaimed.

Sakura twirled the book in her hands, "Can I borrow this? After you're done, I mean?"

"Sure," Ino shrugged, "I'll give it to you when I'm finished."

Sakura nodded and stood up. The book fell from her hands and on to the floor.

"Sorry," Sakura said as she picked it, only to catch a glimpse of her own name. She frowned and opened the book again. This time to the title page where she saw the words:

For Sakura.

"Oh god," She muttered.

"What?" Ino said eagerly and peered over her shoulder to what Sakura was looking at.

"Wow. That's a coincidence."

Sakura threw the book with all her might at the wall, "That fucking bastard!"

"Sakura! What the hell!"

"I can't believe him! Why would he do that?" Sakura screamed like she was in pain.

"It's just a coincidence! Calm down!"

"This isn't fair! I haven't seen him in a month and he's still here!" Sakura screamed. She felt sick. She felt out of control of weak.

"What are you talking about?" Ino yelled.

"I don't think I can go out tonight, Ino," Sakura said, her voice was now small.

"Sakura, what's wrong?"

Sakura looked at her friend then said, "I'm so sorry I freaked out."

"It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong."

Sakura shook her head, "It's like he's gone but he's still here. I-I need to go home."

Ino watched her friend leave, unsure what she should say. Sakura hurried home and sat down heavily by the phone. She stared at it for a while as if she was willing it to ring then she picked up the receiver and dialled his number.

She listened to the dial tone and just before she could lose her nerve and hang up a voice answered,

"Hello?"

There was silence as she breathed then she said,

"Sasuke?"

"Sakura?" he asked. Sakura could almost see his expression through the phone.

"Yeah… I just wanted to…" She trailed off. Why was she calling?

"Are you okay?" Sasuke asked.

"Of course I'm okay," Sakura smiled.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, I shouldn't have called."

There was silence then he said,

"No. I'm glad you called."

"I was afraid of that,"

Silence.

"Can I come over?" He said suddenly.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Sakura asked.

"No," Sasuke muttered slowly.

Silence.

"I just wanted to say I saw your book," Sakura said suddenly.

"Hn."

"I haven't read it yet. I will… soon,"

"I don't want you to," He snapped.

Sakura sighed, "Then I won't."

"Okay."

Silence.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Sakura said suddenly.

"Why?"

Sakura bit her lip, "I don't know," She admitted.

"Sakura, please just say what you want to say."

"You dedicated it to me,"

Silence.

"Of course I did," Sasuke said.

"Why?"

"It… It seemed to fit." He said.

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Goodbye, Sasuke." Sakura said sadly, "I'm sorry I called."

"It's okay. I'm glad you did. Maybe… maybe later we can get together and talk more? Face to face?"

"Do you really think that would be a good idea, Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

"No," He sighed, "Goodbye, Sakura."

"Bye," She said biting her lip then hung up.

Sasuke was outside a television studio when he got Sakura's call. He stood there, leaning against the wall, as he spoke to her. When she hung up, he held the phone to his ear as if he was hoping for her voice to return to it. He closed his eyes.

"Sasuke?"

When he heard Kakashi voice he opened his eyes and looked at the older man.

"They're waiting for you."

"Hn."

"Try to answer the interviewers questions with a little more words," Kakashi said as he led Sasuke inside.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted and Kakashi sighed in exasperation.

In less than half an hour, Sasuke found himself on live television in front of the perfectly prim talk show host.

'Are you nervous?" Asked the talk show host.

Sasuke shook his head but it didn't seem like the talk show host had even noticed.

"Just relax. I've done this a million time."

A camera man spoke, "And we're rolling in three… two… one,"

"Hello! And welcome to the show! Today we have a very exciting guest. Sasuke Uchiha! The author of the instant best-seller, Cherry Blossoms! How are you, Sasuke?"

"Fine," Sasuke answered flatly

Off-stage, Kakashi rolled his eyes.

Sakura sat on the couch and, without anything better to do, she turned on the television. She was immediately shocked to see Sasuke's face.

She groaned, "Do you have to be everywhere?"

She was about to change the channel when the talk show asked,

"So, your book has received tremendous praise but there is also a shroud of mystery. You haven't published a word in three years and to come back with such an explosion is something of a miracle so I must ask, what possessed to write a book of this magnitude?"

Sakura could tell, just from Sasuke's concealed expression, that he was getting irritated with the whole show. She watched as Sasuke and said,

"I found a muse."

Sakura eyes widened, "No. Sasuke, please."

"A muse?" said the talk show host.

"Yes."

By this time Sakura had stood up and she was glaring at the television screen.

"No Sasuke. Don't you dare."

"Is your muse the mysterious 'Sakura' to which the book is dedicated to?" Asked the television host.

"Yes," Sasuke said and there was a long 'oooo' from the audience.

"Well, this is interesting," The talk host smiled, probably thinking about all the ratings he was going to get from this.

"Stop it, Sasuke, stop it." Sakura said as if he could hear her through the television screen.

"And where is your Sakura now?" asked the talk show host.

Sasuke looked up at the camera and for a split second, it looked like he was looking straight at her before he looked down and said,

"She doesn't exist anymore."

Sakura gasped. She stood still, staring at Sasuke through the television.

"What do you mean, Sasuke?"asked the talk show host, watching his ratings rise before his eyes.

"She's gone and I'll never get her back."

Sakura wanted to yell at him. She wanted to tell him that they wouldn't understand what he meant, they would never understand him the way she did.

"Did she die?"

"No! She didn't die, you idiot! She's just doesn't exist for me anymore!" Sasuke yelled.

There was silence, even from the audience, until the talk show cracked on of his perfectly false smiles and said, "The plot thickens…"

Then he turned to the camera and said, "And if Sakura would please step forward, I'd very much like to meet her…"

Then they suddenly cut to commercial break and showed some animated character trying to sell poison to children. Sakura sat down heavily on the chair and closed her eyes.

After a while, she fell asleep.

From then, everywhere she went, whenever someone found out her name, they asked her if she was _the Sakura_. Soon, she started avoiding giving out her name unless she absolutely had to. Ino was delighted, of course, and told everyone she could that she was indeed _the Sakura. _No matter how much she tried, Ino could not get the whole story out of Sakura. The only person who knew all of it was a lowly drug dealer who hadn't bothered to read the book.

One day, she was getting her post when she noticed an expensive looking envelop. She opened it up and read that it was an invitation so some major award ceremony for writers. She was wondering why on earth she was invited until the penny dropped.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" She screamed, making her elderly next door neighbour stare disapprovingly. Sakura ignored her and scrunched up the invitation and threw it in the bin. She walked three feet before a tiny voice in her head said: _Sasuke will be there. _

She battled with herself mentally for three whole minutes before surrendering to her destructive desires and diving in the dustbin to retrieve it. Her neighbour saw her and glared at her scornfully. Sakura blushed and ducked into the apartment.

She looked at the envelop and shook her head, "What am I doing to myself?"

**(A/N): okay, I know not much happened in the phone call between Sasuke and Sakura but I just wanted to show how they can't stay apart but can't get together. Also, Sasuke and Sakura are in their early twenties or so. I think there's about two-three chapters left. Please review and stuff. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto **

Sasuke sat at the edge of his bed without his shirt on. His muscles bristled over his torso and his chin was placed on delicately interlocked fingers.

"Sasuke-kun?" said an oddly nasal voice in the background, "Come back to bed."

Sasuke ignored her and remained deep in thought. His fingers itched. For some reason, he had the sudden desire to at least have something of hers. A meaningless object of hers that he could inject meaning into. He wanted something that would remind him of her every time he saw it or held it until he was able to almost replace the object with her but he had nothing to prove that she had even been real.

"Sasuke!" droned the voice behind him.

He ignored her again and flipped out his phone. He scrolled down until he saw her number blinking in the darkness of the room. Suddenly, he felt warm arms and legs enfold him from behind. He closed his eyes and pretended they belonged to Sakura.

The illusion was shattered when the woman spoke,

"We could do it again?"

Sasuke opened his eyes, "Hn."

"I'll let you call me Sakura, if you want," She said and kissed his back.

Sasuke looked back at her, "Why do you let me do this to you? It's disgusting."

Karin smirked, "It's because you have a giant cock."

He hands wandered dangerously close on his thigh then she rudely took it away and trailed her fingers up and down his torso instead.

"And I'm no fool, Sasuke. I think you have all this love inside you and eventually it will destroy you," she smiled as she traced his shoulder blade, "But still, I want a piece of it while it last."

"I don't love anyone," Sasuke sneered.

She remained completely unfazed and said, "Exactly. You don't love just anyone and the person who manages to get through to you, to make some sort of impact in your enclosed cell of a life is going to be completely and utterly loved. Also, I already know who it is."

Sasuke shook his head, "You're fucking crazy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Karin shrugged and said, "A few times. Doesn't make what I say any less true. I know who you love. I can tell."

"I already told you I don't love anyone!" Sasuke snapped.

Karin smirked, "Not even Sakura?"

He felt like something had struck him in the chest, "No," He said, "Not even Sakura."

"Then stop calling out her name when we fuck," Karin snapped and unfurled herself from him. She lay down on the bed with her back towards him. After an extended silence she said,

"Want a hit?"

"I gave that stuff up," Sasuke said.

Karin sat up and started rummaging around the bed.

"I didn't."

She took out a large packet of cocaine and slapped it playfully against Sasuke's bare back. Sasuke grimaced as he heard the packet opening.

"Can you hold back my hair while I take a hit?" Karin asked.

At that point, Sasuke wanted to hit her. He wanted it so much. He realised now how much he had missed it. He turned around and saw the fine white powder.

"Move over," he said rudely. He lay Karin flat on his bed and towered over her. She was only in her underwear and Sasuke's fingertips drifted across her naked stomach. He took the packet from her and poured some cocaine on her stomach. His nimble fingers made the cocaine into a line. He bent down and, without hesitation, snorted the cocaine off her stomach.

When he was finished, his head tilted back and he stared blankly at the ceiling. He breathed in deeply as the high hit him and his eyes reddened.

"I thought you stopped," Karin said.

"I thought I had stopped too," he said.

He climbed off the bed and went to his bathroom. Karin sat up and stared at him as he slammed the door.

He rummaged through the cupboards until he found his pills. He poured some into his hand and slammed them into his mouth. He washed down his medical meal with water. It enhanced his high he doubted that he would remember anything in the morning.

He stumbled back into the bedroom. Karin stared at him.

"You're scaring me, do you know that?" she said.

"I scare most people," he muttered, "I'm not a very pleasant person."

He rummaged by his bed until he found his phone.

"What are you doing?" Karin asked.

He ignored her and hit dial.

"Are you calling Sakura?"

He put the phone to his ear.

"No! Sasuke! Don't do it!" She yelled shrilly and pulled his arm in an attempt to stop him.

"Fuck off Karin!" He yelled.

She looked at him pleadingly, "No, Sasuke listen, I'm a woman and let me tell you, as a woman, that no woman likes to be called when the guy is fucked out of his mind!"

He swayed slightly and glared at her, "I thought I told you to _fuck off_!"

"I'm not letting you do this!" She yelled and grabbed him around the middle. They fought on the bed while the dial tone rung hollowly throughout the bedroom. By the time Sakura answered, Sasuke had her pinned beneath him.

"Hello?" She said in the voice Sasuke loved.

"Sakura?"

"Sasuke? Why are you calling? It's two in the morning."

Sasuke hadn't realised it was so late.

"I-I just…" he mumbled but was distracted when Karin made a wild grab for the phone. He swore at her and held her down more tightly.

"Sasuke! Just hang up now!" Karin shouted, her voice slightly muffled.

"Who's that with you?" Sakura asked, unable to keep the envy out of her voice.

"Just some whore," Sasuke said without thinking.

"I'm not a whore!" Karin yelled out in protest and tried to grab the phone yet again. Sasuke growled when he pinned her down again.

"Sasuke? What the fuck? Are you okay?" Sakura shouted over the phone.

The question threw Sasuke a little. He remained silent for a while and listened to his own breathing.

Finally he said, "No. No, Sakura, I'm not okay."

"What's wrong? Where are you?" Sakura asked and Sasuke could almost taste the concern in her voice.

"I think… I think I may have relapsed."

"Oh… Oh no, Sasuke. Please. You took cocaine?"

"And MDMA," Sasuke admitted.

"Sasuke…"

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "I'm so sorry."

"Tell me where you are," Sakura ordered.

"I'm at home."

"I don't know where you live," Sakura confessed.

"I know. It's better that way."

"I don't know what to do," She admitted, "I don't know what you want me to do…"

Sasuke breathed heavily, "But… but if I've relapsed then maybe…"

"Sasuke?" She said and her voice was tangible.

"Maybe we can relapse too. Maybe I can come see you."

"Sasuke," She said with a sigh.

"Please. I know you miss me too. I know. I-,"

She cut him off, "We have to let each other go."

"Why?" He snapped.

"I mean nothing to you… remember?"

Sasuke was seething with anger now, "You want me to tell you what you are to me? Is that it? Is that all I need to do to fix this?"

"You can't fix this."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do! If you want me to tell you who you are to me? I'll tell you! I'd tell you everything you want to hear!"

"Sasuke, please," Sakura said and Sasuke heard her voice break like she was crying. He ignored it.

"I can only write when you're around. You're my words. You're my mother."

The last part was a Freudian slip. He had not meant to say it but he had anyway.

"Fuck," He swore softly.

There was silence at the other end of the line. It stretched for so long that eventually Sasuke feared that she had hung up on him.

"Sakura?" he said, unable to remove the panic from his voice.

"I'm still here."

"I don't-,"

She cut him off again, "Tell me about her."

"About who?"

"Your mother, silly," Sakura laughed slightly making Sasuke's heart sing of hope.

"She was a lot like you."

She laughed again, "I know that."

Sasuke swore again and said, "She was a nurse."

"I'm studying to be a doctor."

"I know," Sasuke said, "But she was also kind and she put up with all my shit. She didn't make me feel like I had to change for anyone. I could be just the way I was and she would still love me."

There was silence for a while and then Sakura suddenly said,

"My father was an alcoholic. He also smoked like a chimney. It's what killed him in the end: lung cancer."

"I'll stop," Sasuke muttered, "I'll quit smoking."

"I was under the impression that you already did. It's okay. I'm pretty sure the cocaine will kill you before the smoking does."

"I'm sorry."

Sasuke could almost feel her smile through the phone, "Stop apologising, Sasuke, it's not like you."

"Okay," He said, "Okay."

"Will you be at that reward ceremony thingy?" She asked suddenly.

"Will you?"

"Yes," Sakura said.

"Yes, I'll be there." Sasuke said.

"Sasuke?"

"Yes?"

"You're right. I miss you too."

"I knew it," He smirked.

"I'm hanging up now," Sakura said, "If you're sure you'll be okay."

"I'll be fine."

"Okay," She said and hung up. Sasuke held the phone to his ear for a few more seconds. He breathed with soft relief.

Suddenly Karin squirmed beneath him, reminding him that she was still there. She glared up at him.

"If you think your relationship was fucked up before, think about how it's going to be when you wake up and can't even remember that phone call."

She pushed him off her and rolled out of the bed.

"Honestly, I've never seen anything like that. What the fuck is wrong with you two? It's like you were made for each and you still can't be together."

As she gathered up her clothes, Sasuke said, "I don't love her."

Karin rolled her eyes, "Well, you could have fooled me."

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked, dizzy from the cocaine.

"You were right. I shouldn't let you do this to me. It's disgusting," she said, "but call me the next time she breaks your heart and, trust me, she will and I'll come over and fuck your brains out until you can't even remember your own name, let alone hers."

"It'll never work," Sasuke said.

"Yeah, you're right. You'll just call out her name anyway," Karin snapped.

"No… me and Sakura. It'll never work."

"Have you tried?" Karin said as she pulled on her pants.

"No," Sasuke admitted.

Karin sighed, "You should try at least. I can sense these things. I can tell you two are some sort of soul mates. Fucked up soul mates but soul mates still."

"I don't believe in soul mates."

"I couldn't give a damn," Karin said, "The truth is I envy Sakura. She means more to you than I ever will. I'm just a petty fuck."

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"Goodbye, Sasuke-kun. I genuinely hope you two make each other miserable."

With that catty comment, she left. Sasuke lay on the bed feeling like every muscle that clung to his skeletal frame was moving like snakes. He breathed heavily.

**A/N: I'm not a big fan of Karin but I hate it when she used as a sort of antagonist in sasusaku fanfiction. She's there basically to show that Sasuke is trying to replace Sakura and failing. Also, he's a little bit of a whore. I realised that I have little to no social life, insomnia and my only hobby is writing and therefore I could basically update daily if I wanted to so I'll make this fanfiction longer. Thanks for reading. Please review. Your input is valued. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto. **

Sasuke woke up with a splitting headache. His eyes were terribly bloodshot with red rings pooled around his dark irises. Sometime last night, his nose started bleeding and the blood covered his face like red netting. His hair was matted and his skin was clammy from sweat.

In conclusion, he was a mess.

He rolled out if bed and into a shower. Standing there, letting the water flow over him, he tried to remember what happened the night before. He could remember snorting cocaine off Karin's bare stomach but the rest was a blur.

He got out of the shower and dried himself off with a towel. He got dressed and looked at himself in the mirror. He was still a mess. His skin tone was several shades lighter than it usually was and his lips were cracked and bleeding. He rubbed his mouth with his palm and looked into his own tired eyes.

Already, there was that dull itching in the back of his mind for more cocaine but for some reason he instinctively ignored it. He began to make his bed but then there was a dull thump. He looked down and saw that his phone had fallen out of his bed. He bent down and picked it, only to see the last number dialled.

"Fuck," He mumbled softly. He went through his sent messages and, to his horror; he saw what he had been doing last night. There were at least fifteen messages there and all of them were to Sakura. They all had a similar desperate theme to them and they were all bordering on insanity, longing and, in some cases, anger.

_I miss you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _

_Please can I come see you? _

_Answer my fucking messages! Who are you with that you can't answer? You're a whore. _

_I'm sorry. Ignore that. _

_I'm not sorry. I'll cut off his fingers if he touches you. _

_I can't write anymore. What's the point of me if I can't write? _

_I saw you dancing the other night. We should go see a ballet together. That would be nice. _

_When I fucked that other girl, I called out your name by accident. I don't regret it though. It should've been you. It should only be you. _

_I hate you. _

With every message he read, he felt more and more ashamed. He couldn't believe her had sent them. He couldn't believe he had said those things. He was immediately stuck of a deep self-loathing and a desire to call her back and tell that none of it was true. He was just high. People do strange things when they're tripping on cocaine.

He placed his head in his hands and tore at his hair angrily. He read the last message and it said:

_I still can't believe you left me. I still wake up thinking that you're going to be there. I'm in denial. I know. _

He threw his phone against the wall where it shattered. He swore and went to go pick it up. The screen was cracked and the machine was clearly beyond repair. When he saw it, he got angry with himself and punched a hole in the wall. When he drew back his hand, his knuckles were bloody.

He was trying to remember if there was something he had to do today. He had this nagging in the back of his mind as he tried to remember something important that he had forgotten.

Then the penny dropped, of course, it was the award ceremony today. A single memory came back to him, the memory of Sakura telling him that she would be there.

Sakura looked at her phone in disdain. She had been kept awake all night with his frantic messaging. At first, she had tried to keep up with it but eventually she had switched off her phone and tried to go to bed but of course she couldn't sleep. She was too nervous to see Sasuke the next day. When the sun rose, she rose with it.

She was upset when she realised that Sasuke had slept with someone else. Part of her felt shamelessly satisfied when she heard that he had called out her name but then she felt guilty for feeling like that and then she got angry for feeling guilty. Finally she got sad from being angry because it made her realise that she shouldn't care at all and she was being stupid. It wasn't as if they had ever had a real relationship. He hadn't been cheating on her. There was nothing to cheat on. After that, she just got anxious about seeing him again because now she had absolutely no idea what she was to him.

She procrastinated throughout the day. Unfortunately, it was one of her rare days off so she wasn't even distracted with work. By four o'clock, she began to lose it a little. She was supposed to be getting ready. The award ceremony started in an hour but instead, she walked in and out of her apartment and debated wherever or not to just stay home and go back to bed.

The award ceremony was a black tie event. She had borrowed a formal dress from Ino but she put it on. It was simple red and it clashed with her hair. She didn't mind. She was too anxious to care.

At four-thirty, she left her apartment. There was not a single drop of make-up on her face and she had not done her hair. The only way she had managed to leave her apartment was promising herself that all she would do was fulfil her promise to Sasuke, say hello to him, and then leave. She would not get caught up in his chaotic whirlpool again.

She walked down the street. Some guys whistled at her but she ignored it. Then she heard someone call out her name,

"Sakura!"

She looked around and saw Naruto. Despite herself, she breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Naruto! It's so good to see you!" She said and walked to him.

"You look so beautiful!" he exclaimed, "Where are you going?"

"This… this award ceremony."

"For doctors or for writers?"

"Writers," Sakura admitted and bit her lip.

Naruto only laughed, "So Sasuke is going to be there."

"Yes. Naruto, I'm so nervous! I haven't seen him in a month and last night, he called me. He had relapsed and he said these things! I'm so confused about everything!"

Naruto smiled and nodded understandingly while he waited for her to finish then he said, "I think it's good that you're going to see him again."

'You do?" Sakura said, honestly surprised.

"Yes," He said clearly, "your relationship with him might not be perfect but you two should at least try to work it out. If it turns out to be a disaster then at least you know, right?"

Sakura shrugged hopelessly.

"Sakura, do you know what Folie a deux is?"

She smiled, "it's a madness shared by two."

"Exactly," He grinned, "and you and Sasuke clearly share the similar affliction of complete and utter denial. You love him and he loves you too."

Sakura laughed, "I don't love him!"

"You see?" He smirked.

"That doesn't prove anything!" She exclaimed.

"Whatever you choose to believe, Sakura-chan," He said, "Go to the award ceremony, you look beautiful."

"Thank you, Naruto," She said and hugged him. She smiled at him while she walked away and crossed the street.

The car came out of nowhere. Neither Sakura or Naruto saw it until it made contact with flesh.

The award ceremony had started an hour ago and Sasuke still hadn't seen her. He walked through the crowds, expecting her face to jump out at him. He was agitated and was easily annoyed by the people who approached him. Whenever he saw someone who resembled her, he would grab their arm and say,

"Sakura?"

And the stranger would turn around, confused by the estranged writer.

"SAKURA!" Naruto cried out.

She lay on the tar road. Her eyes were open and glassy and there was a pool of blood around her pink, candyfloss hair. The car had screeched to a stop and the driver got out.

"Oh my god! She is okay? I'm so sorry!" said the driver.

Naruto only looked at the driver long enough to realise that she was a woman with long black hair and lilac eyes and that she looked completely devastated.

"Call an ambulance!" Naruto yelled at her. The driver obeyed at once, flipping out her cell phone and desperately dialling 911.

"Hello? Please send an ambulance to fifth and sixth street, there's been an accident!" She pleaded.

Naruto knelt down next to Sakura, staring at her porcelain face. He held her shoulder gently, his hands were covered in blood.

"Sakura, stay with me. Stay with me."

"Stay here, Sasuke," Kakashi commanded.

"Why? I need to go home. I didn't want to come here in the first place!' Sasuke snapped.

"Then why did you? We both know you don't give a damn about awards. You never have so why did you come here at all?"

Sasuke stared into the crowd again, searching.

"I don't know. She said she would be here. Why isn't she here?"

"Sakura?" Kakashi asked suddenly.

Sasuke glared at him, "Yes, Sakura."

"I reread your book after that interview."

"So?" Sasuke snapped irritably.

"Sasuke, I know I don't know the whole story but… but did you write her into your book?"

Sasuke glared at Kakashi, "Of course I did!" he spat.

"Why?" Kakashi asked clearly.

"_why?" _Sasuke threw back at him, "Because she's my muse! She's Dante's Beatrice to me!"

"Beatrice died," Kakashi said.

"She's not going to die!" Sasuke yelled and making people around them look at him askance, "I have to find her!"

"Now?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes! Now. Right now," Sasuke snapped, "I need her now."

Sasuke was aware that he was making a scene. He was also aware about how much he sounded like a child but he didn't care. He felt like he was slipping. He felt as if there was something completely out of place.

"Why?" Kakashi asked again.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" He yelled and breathed heavily as if the weight of the confession had physically exhausted him.

The ambulance came and the doctors spilled out, pushing Naruto out of the way and kneeling over Sakura. Naruto stood by the driver who had remained faithfully by Sakura's side. She was crying, her lilac eyes red, had she turned to Naruto and said,

"Is she your friend? I'm sorry. I'm so, sorry," She sobbed.

"It was an accident…" he said slowly.

"I…I don't know how I'm-," She trailed off, playing with her fingers nervously.

"What's your name?" Naruto asked.

"Hinata," She said shakily.

"It's going to be okay. Sakura… Sakura won't die. She wouldn't."

They watched as they picked Sakura up and pushed her into the ambulance. One of the doctors turned to them and said, "Do either of you want to ride along to the hospital?"

Naruto was suddenly stuck with the image of Sasuke. Several images, in fact. He saw Sasuke when he was buying cocaine from him, all broken and alone, and then he saw Sasuke after he had met Sasuke and realised that he had still been broken and alone. It was his personality. He was destined to be left alive when everyone around him had died.

"No…" Naruto said suddenly, "I have to find someone."

The doctors looked at Hinata. She paled and said,

"I don't know if I should. I've done so much damage already."

Naruto gripped her shoulder and made her look at him, "You have to make sure she's okay otherwise, it will haunt you for the rest of your life."

Hinata nodded and climbed into the ambulance. Naruto waited until he saw the flashing red car wail around the corner before he began to run.

Sasuke burst out of the award ceremony. He was grateful to be alone and breathed a sigh of relief but he felt sick. He didn't want to be in love. It made him feel unprotected. He began to head towards Sakura's apartment because he was finally able to admit that it was the only place he wanted to be.

**(A/N): I'm evil… and a little bit corny. ** **I have no regrets. Thanks for the reviews. I was really confused because I got two consecutive reviews telling me to do completely opposite things. I cannot please everyone. Hope you enjoyed it anyone. I will continue to update ridiculously often until school starts again. Except tomorrow. Tomorrow I am sleeping at my friend's house but when I say sleeping, I don't mean a 'sleepover', I mean I shall literally be sleeping. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto **

Naruto ran down the street. He had no idea where the award ceremony was. He had no idea where Sasuke would be, having only met him once, but he decided to go back to that street where he had seen Sasuke and see from there.

No one was more shocked than Naruto when he actually saw Sasuke there. Sasuke was in tuxedo with an untied bow tie hanging from his neck and he shuffled slightly as he walked with his back hunched over. Suddenly, Naruto's voice got stuck in his throat. He realised that he was about to tell this man, that he barely knew, that the woman he loved was probably dying. Sasuke caught sight of him and then did something that made what Naruto needed to do a lot more difficult.

Sasuke smiled.

He walked to Naruto and said, "Hello, have you seen Sakura?"

Naruto opened and closed his mouth several times. Sasuke frowned.

"Are you okay?"

Naruto still couldn't find the words to say.

"There was… Sakura…" he said before trailing off again.

"Sakura?" Sasuke answered to her name.

"Um…"

"Is something wrong?" Sasuke asked.

He was so painfully oblivious that it hurt to look at him. His expression was unwittingly happy. Naruto didn't want to tell him because he knew that after he did, Sasuke's expression might never return to this unconditional state of happiness.

"She… She's not okay," Naruto said uneasily.

Sasuke frowned, "What do you mean? What happened?"

Naruto breathed in deeply.

"She was hit by a car."

At first, Naruto thought Sasuke hadn't even heard him. He just stared blankly at Naruto, not moving for a full minute.

"What?" Sasuke said finally.

Naruto didn't trust himself to speak again. He remained silent.

"Where is she, Naruto?" Sasuke hissed.

"H-hospital."

Sasuke thought he was going to be sick. His skull filled with white noise and he broke out in a cold sweat. He breathed in deeply like he couldn't catch her breath. He tore at his hair as he screamed.

Naruto stared at him, no knowing what to say or do.

"I don't understand," Sasuke said suddenly, "What the fuck is happening to us?"

Naruto shook his head mutely.

"Where is she? Where the fuck is she?" Sasuke shouted.

"She's in the hospital." Naruto repeated and, out of nowhere, Sasuke punched him. Naruto stumbled a bit, feeling his head throb slightly but it was okay. Naruto could take it because, if anything, Naruto believed he understood.

"Which hospital is it, you moron?" Sasuke shouted.

"I-I don't know, the nearest one, probably." Naruto muttered.

"You don't even know where she is?" Sasuke cried.

"I came straight here!"

Sasuke grabbed him by the front of his shirt and glared at him. He leaned in dangerously closed to his ear and whispered menacingly, "You know what? I don't trust you."

He let Naruto go and shoved him away then turned around and walked away. Naruto ran after him.

"Wait, Sasuke, I swear I'm telling the truth," Naruto begged.

"Fuck off," Sasuke snapped.

Naruto continued to beg Sasuke as they walked to Sakura's apartment building. Sasuke ignored him. He refused to believe Naruto, about the accident, about Sakura being in hospital, about anything. He walked to Sakura's door and knocked repeatedly. There was just the dull knocking sound of his fist against wood and nothing else. Sasuke could hear the blood pounding through his veins.

"Sasuke, she's not there."

"Shut up," Sasuke snapped and knocked again.

When there was no response, his mouth went dry. He began to think of all possible reasons besides the one Naruto continually insisted on. He tried to open the door but it was locked.

"She's-," Naruto started but before he could utter another word, Sasuke shouldered the door open with force. He stumbled into Sakura's apartment.

"SAKURA!" He shouted but the all the lights were off and the room was cold.

Naruto flicked on the light, illuminating the lounge.

"See," He said and his voice echoed, "She's not here."

Sasuke ignored him. He was looking at the walls.

"She didn't paint over it," he muttered.

Naruto looked around, noticing the words on the walls for the first time. Sasuke clenched his jar, clenched his fists. He shut his eyes and willed Sakura to be there when he opened them once more but when she wasn't, his onyx eyes burnt red with tears. He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"It's true, isn't it?" he muttered and his voice echoed through the empty apartment.

Naruto nodded softly.

Sasuke turned and walked out the door.

They brought in Ino's best friends in tatters. At first, she didn't believe it was her. Sakura looked so small, so broken, that Ino's mind simply refused to accept it. She watched as they wheeled Sakura into surgery, frozen to the spot. Even when she managed to move again, the other doctors wouldn't let her help with operation on her friend.

They let her take the rest of the day off but she remained in the hospital waiting room anyway. She cried for a long time with her hands twisting and bending on her lap. Her eyes were red and blotchy so she almost thought it was an hallucination when she saw the author of her favourite book walked, briskly, into the waiting room and march to the receptionist's desk.

She thought that, perhaps, before this moment she hadn't fully believed that her Sakura was _the Sakura. _She had thought it was all a game but when she saw S. Uchiha ask about her frantically like she was all that had ever mattered and ever would, Ino realised that it was all true. Every snatch of information she had gotten from Sakura or the press was utterly and completely true.

She felt her heart break for the beautiful man she had never met.

Sasuke was sent to wait and he sat across from Ino. Of course, he didn't know she was Sakura's best friend and he ignored her completely. Ino didn't speak to him. She just watched his reaction. He sat down, placed his chin on interlaced fingers and stayed exactly like that until a doctor came out of her surgery.

They got up at the same time and he looked at her in confusion when she approached the doctor too.

"I'm Ino, Sakura's best friend," Ino said quickly and quietly. Sasuke frowned. He felt like he should have known that. He turned back to the doctor.

The doctor shook his head.

Sasuke felt his heart drop from his ribcage and into his stomach. He felt his mouth go dry and his throat clog up. Suddenly, and without hesitation, he wanted to die.

"She's in a coma. If she doesn't wake up in three days, it's most likely that she brain dead."

Ino gasped and began to sob. Sasuke blinked his onyx eyes and immediately said,

"She'll wake up."

He spoke with such certainty that Ino almost believed him. Almost.

"Can we see her?" Ino asked.

"She's in room 52," Said the doctor and pointed.

Sasuke left without a word but Ino waited and thanked the doctor. Sasuke wasn't prepared when he walked into the room. When he saw her, he froze.

Her face was painted black and blue with bruises and there were stitches across her forehead. Her eyes were closed. He had not seen her in a month and yet he could picture her face perfectly as it had been under the bruises and cuts. Her lip was split and bleeding. His fingertips brushed the side of her face delicately as if he might break her like glass.

"Sakura?" he whispered as if he could wake her from her sleep.

A part of him had believed that if he called her, she'd wake up. Her emerald eyes would blink open and she would smile at him.

But she didn't wake up. She didn't move at all.

Sasuke felt like there was a heavy weight in front of his skull, weighing down his head. He wanted nothing more, nothing less, than you go back a couple of hours where she as safe and protected.

He should've been there when it happened. He should've been with her. It should have been him.

He slowly lowered himself in a chair beside her bed. He felt sick and sore all over. His muscles were aching. He didn't take his eyes off her, not once. Her hands lay on top of the blankets and slowly, he intertwined his fingers with hers then lowered his head on to her stomach. He closed his eyes.

Ino did not walk into the room. She stayed at the door, staring at them. Sasuke did not cry. What he did was worse than tears. He seemed to automatically become what she was. He stopped moving, he stopped talking. He stared at her. It was as if he was desperate to get back in sync with her. She didn't know how long she stayed there, staring at the writer and his muse, but she was only awoken from her trance when she was joined a blond man called Naruto and a doctor.

"We need to talk about who will… who will switch her off life support if she doesn't wake up in three days," The doctor spoke in a whisper, "Does she have any other family we need to contact?"

Ino shook her head, "No. Her father died about a month ago and her mother died giving birth to her."

She looked at Naruto, "Who the hell are you?"

Naruto blushed scarlet, "I'm Sakura's friend. I live near her house."

Ino shrugged. She didn't have the energy to question him further.

"Maybe we should give the decision to Sasuke?" Ino said.

Naruto looked into the room and shook his head, "No… Sasuke will never do it, even if that's the only choice. He will never, ever give up."

One look at them together in that room was enough to know that he was right.

Ino sighed, "I don't want to think about this now. It's all too much. She might still wake up, right?"

The doctor looked at her sadly, "It's possible… but unlikely."

"But it's still possible!" Naruto exclaimed, "She'll wake up. I know it. This is Sakura and now Sasuke is with her so she'll definitely wake up."

Ino smiled sadly. She admired his optimism.

"I think Naruto should decide. I think he should be the one to turn the life support off if it gets to that."

Naruto looked at her in shock, "But you've known Sakura the longest."

She shook her head, "I can't handle that decision. I wouldn't know what to do. Sasuke can't do because… he loves her too much to let her go but you'll make the right decision and you'll know when it's the right time to let go."

Ino quickly dissolved into tears. She understood that she barely knew Naruto but she knew Sakura and this would be what she would want.

**(A/N): Sad Sasuke is sad. For the next three chapters, it'll be a day by day countdown until Sakura officially declared brain dead… or wakes up. I should warn you though, I have an odd disliking for happy endings. Doesn't mean I won't write one. Trololololol.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**Day one. **

Sasuke would not leave.

He slept at the hospital that night and the next day he barely spoke a word. He would sometimes get up and walk around the hospital. He would convince himself that, by the time he got back, she would be awake but she never was and each time without fail he would believe it to the extent that when he saw her again, lying defeated and broken in the hospital bed, it would hit him all over again.

She wasn't getting any better but she wasn't getting any worse.

Sasuke would stroke her pink hair and kiss her forehead, repeatedly and in a steady rhythm till he passed an hour or two like that. Eventually he gave in and climbed into the hospital bed with her. She was attached to so many machines, there were so many wires, that measured her heart beat and Sasuke didn't dare move her at all so he simply lay next to her with his hand enclosed around her limp fingers. Then he began to talk to her and when he did, he found that it was difficult to stop.

"When you get better, I'll take you to the sea. I like the ocean. It looks like your eyes. It's all emerald and soft. I'd like nothing better than to take you to the ocean myself. We could take a holiday together, at the sea, and just get away from anything. I would just let you talk and talk. I wouldn't say a word. I'll just listen to you speak. We could go to the zoo one day, when you get better. I'll cover your eyes but you'll peak through to see the penguins and the lions and the elephants. We could even go to the aquarium and watch dolphins. We could go to the planetarium, then an art gallery, then the movies, then a ballet! I'll take you to go watch a ballet! You dance so well. I would watch you dance. Only you and me, in a dark room with the music on really low so we can scarcely hear it over our breathing, I will make you dance again, when you get better.

Sasuke took a great shuddering breath and realised he was dangerously close to crying. When he spoke next, his voice was hoarse and thick.

"Did you know I play piano? You could dance and I'll play piano. I'll play anything you want. You just have to wake up."

When Naruto walked to the room, he heard voices and he thought that Sakura had woken up but when he stood up the door he realised that it was just Sasuke. Naruto barely wanted to interrupt him. It was as if Sasuke believed that if he spoke to Sakura long enough eventually she would answer him back.

"Sasuke," Naruto said and his voice sounded alien in the room. Sasuke looked up at him. His face was white and his eyes were red.

"What do you want?" Sasuke said rudely.

Sasuke knew what the doctor said. He knew that if Sakura didn't wake up in three days it was mostly likely that she was brain dead. He also knew that it was now Naruto's decision wherever she should remain on life support after that or not so he didn't trust Naruto, not at all.

"Don't you think you should go home?" Naruto asked.

"Why?" Sasuke answered curtly.

"You should get some rest. If her condition changes, they'll call you. Nothing going to change with you sitting here all the time. You need to sleep because, frankly, you look awful."

"Do you think I care?" Sasuke asked, his voice low and menacing, "Do you think I give a single fuck about _anything_ anymore?"

Sasuke stood up and walked to Naruto. He glared at him with all the force of his onyx eyes.

"I know that you're the one who's supposed to switch Sakura off but let me just make something very clear to you… if you kill her, then you kill me too."

Naruto stood his ground, "I'm not going to kill her, Sasuke. I'll make the right choice."

Sasuke clenched his fists, "And you think the right choice will be to kill her?"

"Do you think that Sakura-chan would want to be a fucking vegetable? What do you think she would choose."

Sasuke glanced at Sakura then back at Naruto, "I think she would hate us for giving up on her so easily."

"I won't give up on her, Sasuke," Naruto said softly, "But if the time comes where letting her go will cause her less suffering, then I'll do it."

"You disgust me," Sasuke sneered and shouldered past Naruto and out of the room.

Naruto stood there long after Sasuke left. He felt strangely light-headed. He walked next to Sakura and smiled sadly. He shook her shoulder slightly as if he was hoping she would wake up. It was uncomfortably hot in the room so he took off his coat and hung it over a chair.

"Listen to me Sakura, you have to wake up. You have to. You can't leave Sasuke the way he is now and please don't make me make this decision. I don't think I can. I can't switch these machines off… what am I thinking? I could never not while there's a chance you might wake up."

He closed his eyes like he was praying. There was a sound behind him and he looked around to see Hinata. She stood there shyly, looking down and blushing red.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"Um… er.." She muttered, unable to form words. She had to take a deep breath before she could continue in her small voice.

"I wanted to see if… she'd woken up."

"Oh." Naruto sighed, "No. She hasn't woken up yet."

Hinata held out a balloon that had "get well soon' written on it. She blushed viciously as she said,

"I wanted to give her this."

"That's very kind of you," Naruto said and took the balloon from her. He tied it to Sakura's bed where it bobbed up and down slightly.

"I-I'm sorry!" Hinata suddenly exclaimed.

Naruto looked at her and said, "It wasn't anyone's fault. It just sort of… happened."

"No," Hinata said, her voice was surprisingly clear, "It's my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going. I should have seen her. I should have stopped… I-,"

She broke off and began to sob, hot tears flowing down her cheeks. She shook slightly and held her chest. Naruto walked up to her and they were both equally surprised when Naruto wrapped his arms around her. She gasped in surprise and was too shocked to respond.

"Who the fuck is this?" Sasuke's voice echoed through the room and made Hinata and Naruto break apart.

"This is Hinata," Naruto said.

"How do you know Sakura?" Sasuke asked her coldly.

"I… I'm the person who hit her," Hinata said and looked down, ashamed.

Sasuke's expression did not change, "So, this is all your fault?"

Hinata looked up, opened her mouth but couldn't think of anything to say. Naruto shook his head wildly and said, "No, Sasuke. It's no one's faul-,"

But before he could finish, Sasuke hit Hinata across her face, making her cheek glow red and she froze while tears pinpricked in her eyes.

"SASUKE! WHAT THE HELL?" Naruto roared but Sasuke ignored him and walked back to Sakura. Naruto and Hinata watched as he climbed back into the hospital bed with her and, leaning close to her ear, kissed her cheek then said,

"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise that I will keep you safe."

Hinata stumbled backwards, "what have I done?" she muttered ran from the room.

**(A/N): put a little Naruhina in this chapter for diversity.**


	12. Chapter 12

Sasuke walked around the room. He paced up and down. Every now and then, he would look at Sakura and, only in his mind; it was if she was following him with her eyes. Just being there, in the same room as him, it was like she was awake. She was so alive in his eyes.

After he had hit Hinata and she left, Naruto ran after her but not before giving Sasuke a look like he disgusted him. Sasuke didn't care.

Sasuke saw Naruto jacket placed over a chair and he picked it up and started rummaging in the pockets until he found it: Naruto's stash of cocaine.

He breathed an audible sigh of relief when he saw how much there was. It was enough to kill himself, if it came to that. He promised him that if Sakura didn't wake up, he would commit suicide and this time it would work. This thought calmed him down enough for him to join Sakura again, in her hospital bed, and fall asleep.

**Day two **

Sasuke woke up with a sore back. He groaned as he stretched and sat up. He looked over to Sakura, half-expecting her to be waking up with him, but she was still as ever. He sighed, bending down to kiss her forehead.

"Goodmorning, love," He whispered softly.

It was really early in the morning but the eerie thing about hospitals was that there were always sounds echoing through the sterilized halls. The beeping of a machine reading Sakura's heart beat echoed through the room but it calmed Sasuke to listen to it. He would close his eyes and it would just be him and the sound of her heart beat inside the dark recesses of his mind.

He passed the hours in a state of purgatory. The numbness was wearing off and suddenly he felt everything and it hurt like someone was torturing him. At times, he struggled to breathe. He couldn't talk, he couldn't eat. He couldn't do anything at all.

It was about 9am when he found the permanent marker. He twirled it around in his fingers for a while then he uncapped it and began to write on the walls just like he did when he first met Sakura because, even though she was asleep, she was still his muse.

He wrote until his fingers hurt but it felt good to do something, to turn his emotions in to something solid, something real. When he was finished, every inch of the walls was dotted in letters. It was only after the permanent marker dropped from his hands did he realise why he had done it. A part of him truly believed that he was building a sort of cage for her. He believed that if he trapped her, surrounded her with his words then she would stay there with him.

There was a movement by the door and Sasuke looked around to see one of Sakura's doctors. The doctor looked at the walls in shock and said,

"Why?"

Sasuke shrugged, "Do you have any news on Sakura."

The doctor bit his lip. He had seen people deal with grief before, in many different ways, but he still didn't know how to react to Sasuke. It was like Sasuke was going mad.

"S-she's not getting any worse but with every passing day, the possibility of her waking up becomes less." The doctor said.

Sasuke looked away and nodded, "I see. Will you let me know if anything changes?"

"Of course but, sir, you should go home. There's nothing more you can do for her here."

Sasuke glared at him, "No."

He spoke so defiantly that the doctor immediately gave in. The doctor left the room but not before doing some routine checks on Sakura. Sasuke sat in the corner of the room, watching him like a gargoyle. When the doctor finally left he walked up to Sakura again and rested his forehead on hers. He listened intently to her soft breathing then closed his eyes, refusing to cry. He had no idea how long he stay like that.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke stood up and looked around to see his editor, Kakashi, standing by the door. Kakashi looked at him sadly then turned his gaze to Sakura.

"So this is the Sakura?" He asked.

Sasuke looked away, "What do you want?"

"Somebody called me and told me that S. Uchiha has written a new book. I had no idea that it was on the walls."

"It's not a book. It's just a story."

"Would you mind if I read it?" kakashi asked.

"Piss on it, for all I care," Sasuke snapped and returned to Sakura's side.

Kakashi was there for a long time, reading Sasuke's new story off the wall. While Kakashi did this, Sasuke stroked Sakura's cheek with the back of his knuckles. He did this like a nervous twitch until there was a soft red line down her cheek. When Kakashi finished reading, there were tears in his eyes.

"It's really sad," Kakashi said and choked.

"Hn,"

"Sasuke, would you mind walking around with me. I'd like to talk to you." Kakashi continued.

Sasuke hesitated then nodded and stood up. His legs were stiff but he walked with Kakashi anyway. They walked down the hall, further and further from Sakura.

"What do you want, Kakashi?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you know that you're supposed to be promoting your new book? You're meant to be doing talk shows and book signings and all that stuff."

"It doesn't matter." Sasuke shook his head.

"No," Kakashi nodded, "I understand and besides, this whole romance-muse thing has gotten your audience hooked. Not only is the actual book amazing but there's a whole other intrigue to how and why the book was written."

"This hasn't been some marketing ploy," Sasuke sneered.

"Of course not but, regardless, people are as fascinated by Sakura as you are."

"Fasinated?" Sasuke hissed, "She's dying!"

"Exactly, Sasuke. People are going to try and get a piece of this. I'm just warning you."

There was silence for awhile as Kakashi bit his lip. He looked at Sasuke and said, "I want you to promise me that, if she dies-,"

"She's not going to die!" Sasuke snapped.

"No… no, of course not. Just… just promise me that if anything happens to her, you'll call me first."

"Nothing is going to happen to her," Sasuke said.

"Of course not. She's going be just fine."

Kakashi spoke sadly. He couldn't look at Sasuke's face. He nodded, said goodbye to Sasuke then left. Sasuke made his way back to Sakura's room, thinking that maybe, this time, she'll wake up.

But when he got there he saw a stranger in her room.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked, frowning.

The stranger looked up, terrified, with a camera shaking in his hand. Sasuke glared at him, realising what he was and in a soft, fluid movement, slammed the man's skull into the wall so he was knocked unconscious. Sasuke instantly bent over Sakura, checking to see if she was okay so he didn't notice when the nurse rush into the room until she screamed. Sasuke looked up, then down, at the man who had sat up. He was holding his head and blood trickled beneath his fingers.

"You better live or I may just kill you," Sasuke said clearly and completely honestly.

He did not have to tell the photographer twice. He scuttled from the hospital room with his tail between his legs. After that, people left Sasuke and Sakura alone.

A few hours later, Naruto walked through the door. Sasuke glared at him.

"What do you want?" Sasuke snapped.

"I just wanted to see if Sakura was okay." Naruto answered.

"She's fine."

Naruto looked at Sasuke, "You hit Hinata."

"Who?"

"The girl who hit Sakura with her car."

"That bitch!" Sasuke cried.  
"Sasuke, it wasn't her fault."

"Sakura could die, Naruto… all because of your new girlfriend."

"She's not… she's not my girlfriend."

Sasuke rolled his stagnant eyes, "I really don't care."

"It wasn't her fault," Naruto repeated.

"Oh? Did someone else hit Sakura with their car?" Sasuke said sarcastically.

Naruto fell silent for a moment then said, "It's not Hinata's fault. It's yours."

Sasuke's eyes flashed, "What?"

"It's your fault. If you hadn't been such a bastard to Sakura then she would never have been at there to begin with. She was only there because she was going to that stupid reward ceremony to see the man who rejected her."

Sasuke seethed with anger and glared at Naruto, "Get out."

"You know it's true," Naruto said clearly.

"GET OUT!" Sasuke thundered and Naruto left silently, only looking back at Sakura once.

Sasuke leaned back next to her and folded himself around her. He buried his face into her hair and closed his eyes.

"Nothing makes sense anymore," He whispered to her, "Please wake up."

**Day three**

Sasuke was forced to go home and take a shower. He did this quickly then headed back to the hospital but when he got there he saw that Ino, Naruto and several other people were crowded around Sakura's bed. They looked at him when he entered. They looked at him with white-washed sadness.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Sasuke…" Naruto muttered, "We're going to take Sakura off life support."

"WHAT?" Sasuke shouted, "But she could still wake up!"

The doctor stepped forward, "Sasuke, she's not there anymore."

"What are you talking about? She's right there! I can see her!" Sasuke shouted, pointing at Sasuke.

The doctor shook his head, "You don't understand. That's not Sakura anymore. Sakura has been dead for a long time."

"No, you don't understand. I know she's there. If you turn off the machine, you'll kill her!"

Naruto stepped forward, "I know you love her but this is what she would've wanted. She wouldn't want us to let her linger."

"Are you fucking stupid?" Sasuke yelled, "She would never forgive you if you gave up so easily."

"I'm not giving up, Sasuke. I'm letting go." Naruto said and turned his back on Sasuke.

"NO!" Sasuke yelled and began to move forward to Sakura but two strangers held him back. He struggled and watched, in horror, as Naruto moved towards the machine that was keeping Sakura alive.

"NO! NARUTO! PLEASE! YOU CAN'T! I LOVE HER!" Sasuke screamed himself hoarse and continued to struggle, in vain, against the two men holding him back. When he almost got free, three other strangers came to hold him back, even Ino, until Naruto was alone there with Sakura and with the machine.

Naruto froze. With all his talk, he wasn't sure that he was able to do it. He knew that it was the right thing to do but there was a part of him that still hoped, that still believed, that Sakura would wake up… just as much as Sasuke did.

His finger reached for the button.

"STOP IT! FUCK YOU! LISTEN TO ME! SHE'S THERE! I KNOW SHE'S GOING TO WAKE UP! JUST STOP! SHE JUST NEEDS MORE TIME! PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE!"

Sasuke began to cry. Tears poured from his eyes like blood from a wound. His breathing was too fast, too frantic, and it sounded like he was about to hyperventilate.

"Please…" He said softly, "I love her. I love her so much."

"Sasuke?"

At first he thought he was hallucinating. With Naruto's thumb an inch from the button, Sakura moved. She lifted her hand slowly and rubbed her eyes until they finally opened. The people who had been holding Sasuke back let him go and he went straight to her side like a magnet. He looked at her eyes as if, now that they were open, they fascinated him. He breathed hard, gulping oxygen and his heart pumped blood so quickly that he felt faint but as he looked at her, he felt as if everything slowed down to a standstill.

He gripped her shoulders and shook her roughly and screamed,

"DON'T EVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!"

Her face crumpled and she burst into tears. Sasuke's expression immediately softened and he wrapped his arms around her so she could cry into his shirt.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke muttered in her ear, "I'm so sorry."

Naruto looked at Sakura and breathed a heavy sigh of relief and stumbled backwards. He leaned against the wall and sat down with his head in his hands. Ino was sobbing in relief and the doctor looked flabbergasted but no one approached Sakura, at least not yet. No one would have been able to tear her away from Sasuke anyway. He held her so tightly like he was afraid she'd disappear again and he rocked her back and forth and continuously whispered in her ear,

"I love you. You mean everything to me. I love you. I love you."

It was as if he had to say it now before she disappeared again, as if he didn't want to miss his chance and he desperate for Sakura to realise it. Sakura gripped his shirt and pushed herself away so she could see his face. She looked into his eyes and said,

"Shut up, you fool. I love you too."

Sasuke smiled, genuinely and kissed her. He ran his fingers through her hair and caressed her jawline. She could feel his smile through the kiss.

**(A/N): Yay! She woke up. Even I'm glad, a little. I was just thought, fuck this and finished this chapter today with a fricken happy ending. Thank you all so much for the reviews. Now for more of my ridiculously often updates. Hey insomnia. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

Sasuke and Sakura were lying face to face on the hospital bed with the blankets pulled over their heads. Sakura felt like a child again, building a fort, but she had never felt more safe or warm. The light was softly filtered through the blankets. They leaned their foreheads together and when they spoke, they whispered softly.

"I'm so happy you woke up." Sasuke muttered.

"I know, you've said it about a hundred times," Sakura smiled.

"Because it's true," Sasuke said, "I love you."

"I love you too," Sakura said and Sasuke could feel her lips move on his neck.

"I thought you were dying."

Sakura was quiet for a moment then she said, "I wouldn't die. There's no one else on this planet who will deal with your shit."

Sasuke laughed, his face wrinkled as he smiled then his face fell. He looked uneasy when he spoke,

"I think I went a little mad… When I thought you were going to die."

"How so?" She asked softly.

"It was like I was outside my body, watching myself. I couldn't stop myself from doing things."

"What things?"

"Like writing on the walls or cracking that reporter's skull or hitting Hinata…"

Sakura frowned, "Hinata?"

"She's the person who hit you."

"That bitch," Sakura said suddenly and Sasuke laughed.

"That's what I said."

Sakura bit her lip, "But still… We can't blame her. It's not like she did it on purpose. We should forgive."

"Sakura, I love you but I will never be able to forgive Hinata for what she did."

She pouted, "But you won't be cruel to her, right?"

Sasuke tucked a stray lock of pink hair behind her ear, "No. I won't be cruel to her anymore."

His fingers trailed down her cheek, brushing her lips then caressed her collar bone. He continued lower until his fingers dipped below her hospital dressing gown.

"I missed you so much," He muttered.

"I missed you too," she said as his hand drifted down the front of her dressing gown to her naked thigh. He leaned closer to her and kissed her bottom lip and pulled her waist closer to his by moving her knee around him. He kissed her feverishly, biting her lower lip.

"Sasuke…" she said when he freed her mouth only to mouth to her neck.

He looked up at her, "Am I hurting you?"

She stared at him, her emerald eyes alive with desire then she bit her lip and said, "A little."

He moved away from her immediately, "Sorry."

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck then kissed him full on the mouth. When she stopped she said,

"God, I missed this," and her breath washed sweetly over his face. He smirked. He suddenly moved, straddling her so he formed a sort of tent with the blanket and his body. He was careful not to bump her recovering body accidentally but he still wanted to be near her. He bent down and kissed her jawline, making her smile joyfully, her face wrinkled as the smile reached her emerald eyes.

"Sasuke… Sakura… what are you doing?"

Sasuke sat up, the blanket falling down and revealing them both to Naruto and Sakura's doctor. Sakura blushed scarlet but Sasuke merely smirked and got off her, sitting at the bottom of her bed.

"I just need to do some routine check-ups on her." The doctor said, walking over to Sakura. She was still blushing viciously and whenever Sasuke caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye, he had to fight to keep from laughing.

The doctor checked her pulse, her blood pressure, her heart rate and her temperature. It was half an hour before he was finished. He looked into Sakura's eyes with a little torch and asked,

"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

Sakura shrugged, "A little. My bones hurt and I've still got this massive bruise on my side."

The doctor nodded, "That's too be expected. We had to replace a part of your hip and leg so it's unlikely that you'll be able to any strenuous sport ever again."

Sakura frowned, "What do you mean?"

Sasuke glanced at both of them and asked, "Are you saying she can't dance anymore."

"Well, maybe the waltz or something like that but definitely not something like ballet."

Sasuke put his head in his hands. Sakura was silent, biting her lip. The doctor looked at both their reactions and said,

"Are you a ballerina? Have you done ballet in the past?"

Sakura nodded, "I did Ballet for twelve years."

"Oh," He muttered, "I apologize."

Sakura looked at Sasuke, remembering how he told her that he loved to watch her dance. He looked up and smiled sadly, "If Sakura's okay, that's all that matters."

He leaned over and kissed her softly. Naruto coughed loudly, alerting them to his presence.

"I'm sorry you can't dance anymore, Sakura-chan," Naruto smiled, "But I'm just glad you woke up."

Sakura laughed and opened her arms, reaching for him. She hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Naruto," She said in his ear before they broke apart, "Sasuke told me what you nearly had to do."

"I'm just glad you didn't let me do it."

Sakura smiled.

"There's someone here to see you," he said and went to the door. He looked around and gestured towards something that they couldn't see. After a moment, a clinically shy Hinata walked, blushing, through the door. Sasuke clenched his fists but he didn't say anything.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked politely.

"I-I'm H-Hinata," She stuttered and looked down.

"Oh."

There was an awkward silence till Sakura swung her legs off the bed and tried to stand up. Sasuke gripped her wrist, looking at her and said, "What are you doing? You're not strong enough."

She smiled, "I'm fine."

Sasuke let her go.

She limped over to Hinata, who had not moved a muscle, then wrapped her arms around the shy girl. Hinata was so shocked that she gasped and nearly began to cry. Her lilac eyes were bloodshot.

"It's okay. I forgive you." Sakura said and smiled when she drew away. Hinata's bottom lip trembled and she burst into tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Sakura just laughed and smiled.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, "Don't you have anything to say to her."

"Sakura's the understanding one in the relationship. She can forgive Hinata but I refuse." Sasuke said calmly.

Naruto sighed, "You're a very difficult man to live with, you know."

"Yeah," Sasuke sighed, "I know."

"I don't know how Sakura is going to handle it," Naruto mused.

Sasuke shrugged, "She loves me."

The two men watched the two girls talking. The doctor stepped in front of Sasuke and handed him a piece of paper.

"What this?" Sasuke asked.

"It's the bill for what you did to the wall." The doctor said.

Sasuke opened up the envelope and swore, "That's a lot of fucking zeroes."

The doctor pointed to the walls, "That's a lot of words."

Sasuke sighed as Naruto began to laugh.

"Just be glad that reporter you hit isn't pressing charges." The doctor said.

"Oh, I'd forgotten about that." Sasuke said.

"You forgot?" Naruto snapped, "You cracked the guy's skull."

"and I'd do it again," Sasuke sneered, "Do you know what he was doing?"

Naruto looked down, "Yeah… I probably would've hit him too."

Sakura got out of the hospital a few weeks later. She still had bruises and had difficulty walking but other than that, she was okay. Sasuke picked her up and pushed her in a wheel chair to his car. He helped her into the front seat then drove away from the hospital and all its bad memories.

"Where are you going?" Sakura asked.

"To the ocean," He answered. He held her hand while they drove and circled his thumb around her palm continuously.

When he got to the beach, he parked the car and helped her out. He slung his arm around her shoulders and helped her as she limped to the beach. When they were firmly on the sand and he was sure she was steady, he left her walk on her own. She still limped a bit but soon, she was walking as elegantly as she had before the accident.

Sasuke watched her, enjoying the sounds of crashing waves mingled with her laughter. They took off her shoes and wiggled their toes in the sand. She looked at him with those eyes that sparkled and he felt as if he had never been this happy before in his entire life.

"I love you," he said, yet again, unable to control himself.

"I know," She smiled, "Do you want to see me dance?"

"I always want to see you dance."

She smiled again and began to twirl around, so beautifully, so elegantly. She posed and was brilliantly silhouetted against the setting sun.

"Sasuke."

He looked up, distracted from Sakura and saw Naruto standing next to him.

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" He said, squinting in the setting sun.

Naruto sighed and sat next to Sasuke, "Everyone has been looking for you, Sasuke."

"Why?" He asked.

"We… we were worried that you might hurt yourself."

Sasuke frowned, "Why would I do that?"

Naruto looked down, "Because of what happened to Sakura."

Sasuke instantly looked at the place where Sakura had just been dancing but she wasn't there. He stood up and, looking around frantically, shouted, "SAKURA!"

"She's not here, Sasuke," Naruto said sadly.

Sasuke shot a glare at him, "What are you talking about? She was just here!"

Naruto looked at him; his blue eyes were sparkling painfully with suppressed tears. Suddenly, it was like everything stopped as Sasuke's mind clicked back into place. Sasuke felt himself sway a little. He fisted his black hair in both hands and in a small voice he said,

"She never woke up, did she?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke then shook his head. Sasuke stumbled backwards.

"You switched off the machines. She's gone."

Naruto rubbed his eyes stubbornly, refusing to cry.

"I-I don't understand," Sasuke said brokenly, "If she didn't wake up, then where have I been for the past few weeks."

"After she died, you kind of switched off too," Naruto admitted.

Sasuke shook his head, "This doesn't make any sense. I saw her. I spoke to her. I touched her. She was real!"

"She was only as real as you wanted her to be, Sasuke."

Sasuke stood there, with his back towards the ocean. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally managing to say, "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

Naruto shrugged, "Write a book about it."

**A/n: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but I couldn't do it. I couldn't write a happy ending. This fanfiction is finished now. **


	14. Note

Sorry, this isn't a new chapter. I just wanted to post here that there's a sort of sequel to this story called Ghost. I'm not promising a happy ending but just in case you wanted to see how Sasuke deals with Sakura's death.


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